


Inside My Best Friend

by robotortoise



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Body Swap, Bodyswap, Crack Treated Seriously, Drama & Romance, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-02-10 20:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12919218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotortoise/pseuds/robotortoise
Summary: Boey claims that flour tastes good. Mae thinks he's bluffing.Obviously, the logical solution is to switch bodies. That way, Mae can taste the flour with Boey's taste buds.Really, what could go wrong?





	1. The Flour Catastrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boey and Mae switch bodies so she can taste flour with his tongue.
> 
> Yes, really.

A bead of sweat ran down Boey’s face. He clenched his fist, readying his stance. He was going to do this! He could do this! He was able and willing, and-

The necrodragon screeched its high-pitched, terrifying squeal, and Boey’s pitifully small confidence shattered instantly.

“Aeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Boey howled, fleeing for his life. Finding the nearest tree, he dove under it, and the shady leaves provided a pleasant cover from the towering beast.

“Hey, Boey!” Mae hollered. She was idling nearby, her hands on her hips and her face much more amused than should have been appropriate. “You know that necrodragons can fly, right? That tree isn’t going to do anything against it! I’d really suggest you continue running!”

“Fly…?” Boey heard a rustling of leaves, and then a deep breath – much too deep to come from human lungs. He winced; he knew exactly what had just happened, and ignoring it was likely to result in an untimely demise. And so Boey looked upwards, cringing as he did. Unfortunately, his suspicions were confirmed - the necrodragon loomed overhead, perched on the largest of the tree’s branches. Suddenly, it let out a roar and dove at him. Boey leapt out of the way, and the dragon was left chewing air.

“Luckily, they don’t breathe fire!” called Mae. “So you’ve got that going for you!”

“Instead of telling me what to do, why don’t you help me?” cried Boey. He turned, making a beeline for the ship.

Saber, however, let out a loud “hey!” when he saw where Boey was headed.

“What?!” Boey cried. “I’m kind of in the middle of something!”

“Are you nuts?” Saber asked. “If that _thing_ destroys the boat, we’re all stranded here! Get away from there, you damn coward! Fight it like a man!”

“Urgh…” Boey moaned, stopping in his tracks. He turned and halted, the necrodragon rushing at him. He raised his hand, charging up a thunder spell.

The dragon roared, and Boey steeled himself.

* * *

 

Boey’s vision was filled with blackness.

A presence shook his shoulders.

“Boey,” the presence said. It had a shrill annoying voice, and Boey vaguely wanted to punch it in the face. “Boey, c’mon. We’re leaving. Nap’s over, man.”

“Whuh…?”

“I said, we’re leaving. Are you okay? Celica said to leave you for a while to rest, but...”

“I…” Boey slowly opened his eyes; something was standing over him, and his head was being gently cradled by the soft dirt below it.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” He sat up and rubbed the back of his head. “Did I… did I kill it?”

His vision cleared. That was no something, that was Mae. So, not a _thing_ in the traditional sense, Boey decided, but an appropriate moniker nonetheless.

Mae sighed. “Nah, the dragon knocked you out cold. Celica and Saber ended up finishing it off. ‘Gotta give you points for trying, though! Good job, champ.”

Boey processed this new information. “Did I at least get a good hit in?”

Mae lowered her hand, signaling for Boey to grab it. He did so, and she yanked him upward. “Let’s go to the ship, Boey,” she said, and she patted him on the back condescendingly.

“Answer the question, Mae.”

Mae bit her lip - that was all the answer Boey needed. Her silence spoke volumes.

“I see,” he said dejectedly. “Well, come now. The ship captain won’t wait forever.”

“…Yeah. Hey, dinner is the usual. Do you want to eat it together again tonight, just the two of us, or do you ‘wanna eat it with Celica?”

“Alone,” Boey said. “I’d prefer to be alone.”

“Oh,” Mae said quietly. “Well, uh, see you later. I guess.”

He walked ahead of her.

“Boey…” she mumbled. “I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

* * *

 

Mae carried a tray of food in her hands. It was the usual – salted meat and dried greens. Not exactly the most appealing dish, but when one was on a wayfaring voyage across the sea, they couldn’t very well be picky, could they?

Rapping her knuckle on Boey’s door three times, she called out, “Boey? Are you in there?”

A sigh. “No.”

“Boey, open up.” Mae knocked on the door again. “I’ve got dinner, and Celica’s gonna kick my ass if she hears I let you get away with not eating.  So open up or else I’m gonna kick yours.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“And I don’t want to kick any asses. We all do crap we don’t like for the people we care about. Now let me in!”

“No. Leave.”

“I’ll sing if you don’t.”

A gasp. “You wouldn’t _dare_.”

“I would, and I shall. And a one, and a two, and a three-”

“All right, all right!” Boey threw the door open. “Just promise that you won’t sing!”

“Hah.” Mae waltzed in, her smile smug, and she gently set the tray on the table next to him.

Boey sat in his bed at the center of the small room. The ship rocked back, jostling the tray, and so she set his lamp on top of it, the lamp’s base heavy enough to weigh the tray down.

“What do you want?” he asked bleakly. “Here to make me feel better?”

“Yeah. And the food thing.” She grabbed the plate and handed it to him. “Now eat. And I’m going to stay here and watch you chew, because you’re apparently a baby and you can’t eat food on your own.”

“Oh joy,” Boey said, looking down at the plate. “Salted meat and greens. What a surprise! I would never expect _this_. I’ve never eaten it before! Thank you, ‘o glorious Mae, for this delicious slop.”

Mae sighed. “Can you just eat it and shut up?”

“Eh.” Boey shrugged. “I’m not hungry. I already snacked.”

“On what? I looked in the food storage – this is all we’ve got! Aside from, like… flour and sugar. And you don’t want to eat that. I’d hope, anyway.”

“You, uh, don’t know that.”

“Really, Boey?” Mae asked, quirking an eyebrow. “You really want to push this point? You’d eat flour or sugar? Raw flour or sugar? You’d eat it.”

 “Er… You don’t know that I wouldn’t. I might enjoy flour. Who’s to say?”

“You’re claiming that you enjoy _flour_.”

“Um,” he said, “yes, I suppose I am. Flour is very filling and has a pleasant bitterness to it. It’s not a traditional food, certainly, but-”

“Boey,” said Mae, “it’s _flour_. You don’t eat flour.”

“I do, and I have.” Boey reached to the side of his bed and lifted a small pouch. Upon closer inspection, Mae noticed that it was filled with a white powder.

“Go on,” he said. “Try some.”

Mae guffawed. “This has to be a joke. If it tastes so good, why don’t you eat it first?”

Shrugging, Boey took a spoon and dipped it in the pouch. He filled it with flour and then shoved it into his mouth.

Boey grinned, his cheeks bulging.

“You’re not gonna swallow,” Mae said, but she was unsure if it was more to convince him or to soothe herself.

Boey did indeed swallow. Horrified, she watched him dip the spoon back into the pouch and eat another spoonful. Then he ate another, and then another, and another, and another, and-

“ALL RIGHT!” Mae shouted. “I GET IT! FOR GOODNESS SAKE, BOEY! STOP!”

“Gah!” Boey winced and covered his ears. “Watch your pitch, will you? You almost shattered my eardrums! This is exactly why I don’t want you to sing – no voice control!”

“Sorry, I got… excited.” She paused. “And it’s hard! But, seriously - what the hell, Boey?! Does it taste good? Bad? Why are you doing this? Am I dreaming? Is this a nightmare?”

Boey handed her the sack and spoon. “Try it yourself. You tell me.”

Against what little good judgement she had, Mae cautiously dipped the spoon into the flour, filling it with a small amount. She looked to Boey, who nodded reassuringly. She tasted the flour, and…

“OH GODS!” she cried. “THAT’S REPULSIVE!”

It had tasted all powdery, having barely any flavor. The flavoring it _did_ have was a wheaty aftertaste. Overall, the flour just tasted really gross, and she wasn’t in any hurry to try that again. A smidge of flour had stuck to the roof of her mouth. As a result, Mae started spitting on the ship’s wooden floor, desperately trying to expel the foul taste from her mouth.

Boey raised an eyebrow. “Guessing it’s not to your tastes?”

“It’s flour, Boey!” she said. “It tastes like… well, flour! It’s all powdery and crap!”

“What did you expect?”

“Well, _you_ seemed to like it! Why don’t you tell me?” Mae narrowed her eyes. “What the hell’s wrong with your taste buds? Why would you eat this crap?”

“What’s wrong with _my_ taste buds?” he asked. “What’s wrong with _yours_? Flour is perfectly edible and quite tasty, to boot. I’ve been eating it for years now and I’m fine.”

“I don’t know if I’d agree on the ‘fine’ aspect, but…” She frowned. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Is _that_ why the priory was always so low on flour? You were eating it?”

Boey shrugged. “Father Nomah was didn’t seem to mind.”

“Ohhhhh gods.” Mae put her hands to her head. “This isn’t happening. This is _not_ happening. I can’t… This isn’t…” She sat on the edge of his bed, her world spinning in circles. “You can’t enjoy flour! That’s crazy! You’re crazy, Boey!”

“Mae?” asked Boey. “Do you need to lie down?”

“ _Flour_!” Mae cried, hysterical. “Why are you eating flour? It’s absolutely disgusting!”

Boey frowned. “Not if you’re me, I suppose.”

“You know what?” Mae stood up and crossed her arms. “No. No! I don’t believe you for one second. I think… I think you’re making it all up!”

“Uh, Mae?” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you feeling well?”

“I think…” She crossed her arms. “I think this is to take revenge for earlier… or something! The point is you’re full of bologna. And it’s not funny!”

“I promise you,” Boey said, frowning, “I’m telling the truth! I enjoy flour, is all. Perhaps my body is just wired differently from yours. Your taste buds don’t like flour, and mine do. Maybe it’s as simple as that.”

“Body…” Mae’s eyes alit. “Wait, that’s it! I know how we can prove I’m right!”

“Oh, this should be amusing. Do tell.”

“Okay,” Mae said, “so I was snooping in the captain’s quarters, right? And I found something _really_ cool that can help us out. And you’ll never guess what it was!”

Boey raised an eyebrow. “You were sneaking about his room?”

Mae shrugged. “I was bored. Besides, he explicitly told us _not_ to go in there. So that meant I had to go in there. Naturally.”

“He specified that because it’s his room, Mae. Would you want someone snooping about in your room?”

Mae gestured to the room they were currently situated in. “We’re in _your_ room, Boey.”

He frowned. “Yeah, I guess we are. You entered by a show of force, though.

“Did not. I threatened to sing.”

“Precisely.”

“You stink.”

“So, what did you find in the captain’s quarters?” Boey asked. “Since we’re talking about it, I might as well inquire.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were scolding me for snooping?”

“Eh, scolding you has no purpose. You never learn.”

“Mean.”

“I’m am curious, though. What’d you find – anything juicy?”

“Yep!” Mae pulled out a small book and tried to hand it to him. “I found this thing! It’s really heavy for a little book!”

“I’m not touching that,” said Boey, raising his hands up. “I don’t want to be any more involved in this than I already am.”

“You asked what I found in the room. This is what I found in the room.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to _touch it_. Who knows what kinds of germs are on there?”

“You’re such a baby.” Mae stuck her tongue out. “I’ll just tell you what’s in the book. It’s a diary! Apparently, the old guy really liked to write.” She flipped a folded over page and showed it off. “And there’s a neat spell inside as part of the story!”

“Oh?” Boey raised an eyebrow. “Finally, your heinous activities have caught my interest. Magic?”

“Hah.” She grinned smugly. “I knew I’d win you over. Okay, so the journal starts off with the old guy laying out his marital problems. He had a wife, but she didn’t understand him. The wife thought he didn’t spend as much time with the kids as he should have, did her share of housework, but didn’t think he did as much for his appearance and housework as he could have. Meanwhile, our old friend, the captain, thought she wasn’t compassionate enough and didn’t cuddle him as much as she should’ve after a long voyage at sea. You know, basically your standard argumentative couple stuff.”

“She didn’t cuddle him enough?”

Mae shrugged. “Hey, it’s a diary. He can write what he wants in it.”

Boey nodded. “I wasn’t judging, just questioning.”

“The captain found an ancient magic spell that was supposed to resolve disputes between lovers. It was scribbled inside an ancient spell book– cliché, I know – and according to the spell, it would help two people in a relationship understand each other.

After a particularly bad argument with his wife, he uttered the spell under his breath. Immediately after, he found himself in his wife’s body, and she in his. Freaky-deaky stuff.”

“You are _certain_ this is a journal and not a story, yes?” Boey pursed his lips. “This all sounds like hokey, if I’m being honest. And why are you so interested in this? You don’t like reading.”

“I’m certain. And it’s not – it doesn’t have anything other than the story of the spell. Not much of a journal, really. Maybe it’s part of a set?”

“That doesn’t give me confidence…”

“Oh,” said Mae, “and it was either this or vomit off the side of the ship. I chose the book.”

“Fair,” said Boey. “What happened after they switched? I’m intrigued.”

“Well…” Mae flipped forward in the journal. “The spell helped them learn how to understand one another, and when they kissed by moonlight, the spell was reversed – they were back to their own bodies, and were closer to each than they’d ever been before.”

Boey took this in. “That’s very sweet and all, but how does that relate to me liking flour? Weren’t you going to try and prove yourself right?”

“Oh!” Mae grinned sheepishly. “Well, I was thinking we could do what the two of them did.”

Blood rushed to Boey’s face. “P-pardon?” he squeaked.

“T-the body swapping,” Mae quickly amended. "I want to switch with you. I thought it’d be a fun activity for a few minutes, and I could taste some flour with your taste buds and prove myself right.”

“Oh.” A part of Boey’s heart sank – a much larger portion than he was willing to admit.

“The spell is listed out here,” said Mae, looking at the journal, “and it looks pretty simple to perform, if it really works. And you’re the perfect guinea pig!”

Boey scoffed. “I’m not going to be your guinea pig! I’m a human being! And we should test this on an animal or another inhuman before we try it on ourselves - it could very well be dangerous.”

“Testing is overrated. Field tests are so much faster!”

“Faster to burn, maybe. Strategy is paramount to victory.”

“Ugh… Why are you so boring?! Come on!” Mae sidled up to Boey. “Haven’t you ever wondered what it’d be like to have so much magic power at your fingertips? If you were me, even for a few minutes, you’d be so much more _powerful_. Just imagine the power flowing through my – temporarily your – veins!”

Boey frowned. “Okay, first things first - you are only marginally more powerful than me. I doubt I would feel much more ‘power’, if anything.”

“Wrong.”

“And two, why are you pushing this so hard?” Boey squinted. “You’re not planning to do anything scandalous in my body if I agree to this, are you?”

“No!” Mae cried. “What? Ew, gross. I’m doing this so I can prove that you’re lying!” She pointed an accusatory finger. “Once I swap bodies with you, I can try flour with _your_ tongue. And that will prove that you’re just making it up. As a bonus, you can be me and be all good and magic-y for a few minutes, which is the best prize anyone could get. It’s a win-win! You get to be great, and I get to prove you a liar!”

“I am telling you,” Boey said, “I am not lying! What reason would I have to lie?”

“To mess with me?”

“…hm.” He paused. “I’ll give you that one.”

She beamed. “Thank you kindly. So, are you interested yet, or do I have to keep convincing you?”

“I have… qualms, Mae.”

She glared at him. “Like what?”

“Well… Would you like me to list them off?”

“Sure,” said Mae. “Might as well get it over with, whiny pants.”

“Okay.” Boey nodded. “How certain are you that this spell works as expected? Do you know how to properly perform it? Or what if the spell _does_ work, but you mess it up? There are a lot of factors here.” He sighed. “And, to be _entirely_ truthful, it’s not like you have the best track record with this type of thing. Remember that time you tried to turn Genny into a frog?”

“How was _I_ supposed to know that frogs can be poisonous?!” Mae asked. “And she _did_ turn into a frog; I was right!”

“Well, perhaps you should have properly researched before _turning Genny into a frog!_ ”

“Okay, fine.” She crossed her arms, pouting. “I screwed up. So what? I learned from my mistake, and I haven’t turned anyone into a frog since. Only snakes.” Mae waved her hand. “We’ll be _fine_ , Boey. And besides, if I was powerful enough to turn her into a poisonous frog so many years ago, imagine how powerful I am now! I could probably turn Genny into, like, five poison dart frogs!”

“I feel that this spell has more room for error, though. What if you get interrupted halfway and we’re stuck as ethereal spirits for the rest of time?”

“Boey.” Mae shook her head condescendingly. “Boey, Boey, Boey. Sometimes in life, you’ve gotta’ take risks. And that’s a really, _really_ dumb reason. I doubt it lifts our souls out of our bodies and then exchanges them. It’s probably more of a psychic connection type of deal.”

“I took a risk _earlier_ ,” Boey scowled at Mae, “and I got knocked unconscious by a giant undead dragon!”

“And then we killed said dragon for you! You got to nap during the whole thing! Wasn’t that wonderful? Free naptime!”

“It was most certainly not! I had a nightmare!”

“And we fought the _draconic_ nightmare for you. You’re welcome.” She stuck her tongue out.

Boey wanted to yank it out of her mouth.

“Anyway…” Mae continued. “There’s a safeguard to prevent the spell from being used non…” She stared at the book. “Non constant? Non con sense…”

“Nonconsensually. It means to get approval before doing something.”

“Right, that. We need to perform a, um… ritual before we can switch. Think nothing of it.”

“Yeah, I’m not agreeing to this,” Boey said. “What if you use this opportunity to slander me? What if you touch me inappropriately? There are simply too many variables to consider. Not to mention that I’d have to be in _your_ body, and I don’t particularly want that to happen. Ever. In any sense.”

“Fine,” said Mae. “I promise I won’t do anything weird in your body.”

“Mae…” Boey exhaled. “I just don’t think this is a good idea. I’m sorry, I’m not interested.”

“C’monnnn,” she moaned. “We’ve been aboard this stupid ship for at least a week. At the very least, it’ll be an activity. You can pretend to be me for a few minutes, and I can pretend to be you! It’ll be fun! Here, I’ll even let you say dumb things with my voice if you stay in this room. Make me say whatever you want.”

Boey raised an eyebrow. “Is that your definition of fun?”

“…Just say you’ll do it.”

“I don’t want to do it.”

“Say it, Boey.”

“I don’t want to switch bodies with you!”

“I said I won’t do anything weird!” She stuck her hand out and raised her pinky. “Here, pinky promise! C’mon!”

“No!” said Boey. “There are still uncertainties - I refuse!”

“Gr…” Her cheeks flushed, and she glared at him. “Sometimes you infuriate me so much, you know that? Why don’t you just give in? It’ll take five minutes, tops!”

“Because I think this is a terrible idea! I don’t want to…” He stared at Mae, and his cheeks flushed red. He hoped to Mila that Mae didn’t notice. “I just… don’t want to be you, even if it’s for a few minutes.”

“ _What?!_ ” Mae yelped. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“It’s not… I just said I don’t want to do it, okay?! Accept no for an answer!”

“Fine!” Mae crossed her arms. “I didn’t want to be you, anyways! You can be so stubborn sometimes, but it’s at the worst times! Why weren’t you like this with the necrodragon? You could’ve killed it, and it would’ve been awesome! But you just stood there like a chicken and let it stomp all over you! You could have died, Boey!”

“You truly don’t get it, do you?” Boey asked. “You don’t understand at all.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and stared her directly in the eyes. “Mae, there’s a deeper reason that I can’t do this. I… I apologize. It would be too stressful. I can’t tell you, but trust me when I say that I have my reasons.”

“Oh,” said Mae. Gears in her head began to turn as an idea formed, and when she next looked at Boey, it was with big puppy dog eyes.

A part of Boey’s brain instantly knew something bad was about to happen – she always made that face when she wanted him to do something dumb. It didn’t work most times, but it had a higher success rate than not doing it - and Mae knew this, which was why she was trying the devious tactic.

Boey cursed himself internally. He was a sucker for the puppy dog eyes.

“You wouldn’t kiss me?” Mae asked, tilting her head. “That’s what the captain and his wife did. It’s the act of consent. I’m _hurt_ , Boey.”

“I… W-what?” Boey asked, flabbergasted. “You want me to… w-what?”

“Do I have permission to kiss you?” Mae asked.

“I…” Boey stared at Mae blankly. _This is a trick,_ his subconscious yelled at him. _Do_ not _fall for it – this is simply part of the spell! It’s not from passion, nor feeling! Don’t do it!_

Yet Boey’s conscious mind was consumed by an almightier desire – a hunger to kiss the girl he loved. And, dammit, even if it was a trick, he was going to be the mouse that nibbled on the baited cheese. He _needed_ this.

“Fine,” said Boey, his cheeks reddening. “I’ll do it. It’s only for the spell, right? Nothing real, just… for the spell.”

“Uh… yeah,” said Mae, her cheeks tinging pink. “R-right. For the spell.”

Without warning, Mae pulled him forward, pressing her surprisingly soft lips against his. Boey was shocked for but a moment. He then deepened the kiss, grasping the back of her head and engaging her vigorously.

Much to Boey’s dissatisfaction, Mae quickly pulled away. “That was it,” she said, a grin slowly forming on her eager face. “That was the last thing we needed – the act of consent! Get ready, Boey! I think we’re about to switch bodies!”

“You… just… kissed…” He trailed off, his entire body and mind numb. Mae had kissed him! She felt the same as he! Mae had…

Mae had kissed him for a spell. She’d done it only for the spell. She didn’t feel that way about him. She’d used him as a prop, as an ingredient.

Soon as it had been made whole, his heart shattered, blackness overwhelming him.

* * *

 

Boey blearily opened his eyes. There were black spots at the edge of his vision, and he made a low guttural noise. He opened his heavy eyes, rubbing them to clear his vision.

“Two times in one day,” Mae’s voice groaned.

That was certainly strange. Boey had said that, and he felt the words come out of his throat, but the voice that said it was most certainly not his. It was high-pitched and… well, he wouldn’t use the word _cute_ out loud even if he’d been paid to, but…

No. He simply had to be mistaken.

He tried again: “Mae? Are you there?”

Yep, there was no doubt about it – that was Mae’s voice.

“Oh gods,” he said, grasping his throat. Mae’s voice sputtered out of it, and a high-pitched shriek escaped his lips. “I sound just like you! This is… T-this is…”

And Boey looked forward, and he saw a sight that he shouldn’t have seen, but most certainly did: Boey was at the end of the bed and staring at his hands, rubbing them against one another. But he wasn’t _there_ \- he was _here_ , so if that was him over there, then who was he, exactly?

It was then that Boey had the (in retrospect, utterly horrific) idea of looking down at his own hands. With a sinking feeling, he noted that they were a completely different shade than usual. He hesitantly touched his right with his left, and that was when he noticed how small they were.

Hesitantly, he opted to look lower.

The first, and by far the most grasping thing he noticed was the large metal chest plate encompassing his two very large, heaving…

Boey swallowed the lump in his throat and opted not to think of that for now. He looked even lower – his cloak was gone, replaced with bare leg and a pink, cut variation of his outfit. Noticeably, his legs were thinner, and his hips were slightly more spread out. He hesitantly reached a hand out to one of his pale legs. Yep – soft as a baby’s bottom, and most certainly a stark contrast to his own legs, which were much less soft and squishy.

It was then that Boey found it was apt to scream.

“GODS! STOP!” the Boey at the edge of the bed (likely Mae in his body, Boey deduced) shrieked. “You’re going to kill my eardrums, Boey!” The Boey hesitated. “You… _are_ Boey, right?”

He nodded.

“Okay, good. The spell worked as expected.” The Boey grinned tentatively. “I’m um, Mae. If you didn’t figure that out.”

“Unfortunately, I did.” Boey hesitantly prodded his breastplate, and he could _feel_ the cold metal press against his bulging chest – a strange feeling, and an unpleasant one. “Does this really protect you? It seems like it’d only serve to exacerbate your injuries.”

 “It was a gift from Celica. And, hey! Don’t poke my boobs!”

“Firstly, I’m poking your breastplate,” Boey said. “And we swapped _bodies_. Nothing is more personal than giving someone unlimited control over your body. If you want to be technical about it, you’re violating my entire being simply by being in my body. Touching anything isn’t going to make anything better or worse. Me knocking on your breastplate is _nothing_ compared to what we’re doing as of now.”

“I…” Mae’s eyes shifted from side to side. “Well, I’ll touch your arms if you do it again!”

“My arms?” Boey raised an eyebrow. “What’s so special about my arms?”

“Nothing,” Mae quickly said. “There’s nothing special about them. Really lame arms.” Hesitantly, she raised a shaking hand to an arm, gently running her hand over it. She gave it a light squeeze – it was muscular, taut and firm, and she involuntarily shivered.

Boey looked at her bewilderedly.

“Very, um, normal arms,” Mae said.

There was no stranger feeling than watching yourself fondle your own arms, Boey decided, as he stared into his own frighteningly aroused eyes. Why was she so into this?

“Stop looking so curious and… pensive!” Mae suddenly said, snapping him out of the trance. "It’s weird, stop it! My face isn’t supposed to look…” She trailed off, and she began to study him more closely. “Huh…”

Nope, he was wrong, Boey decided. _Being checked out by your own self_ was, undoubtedly, the strangest situation one could be in. As Mae leered at him with wide eyes, Boey thought it prudent to clear his throat.

“O-oh!” Mae coughed. “Uh… sorry. Er, would it be weird to say that I got lost in my own eyes?”

“Very,” Boey said. Damn, he was still trying to wrap his head around this. Every time he said something, Mae’s voice spat it out. He briefly wondered if… No, perish the thought. That would be wrong. But, still, he couldn’t help but entertain a certain idea…

Mae scratched her head and tried to find a pigtail to loop around her finger. Since she had Boey’s short head of hair, though, she clearly couldn’t find anything to latch onto. “I’m just not used to being so… I’ve never, uh, seen myself at this angle before.”

Hold on… Boey squinted. Were her cheeks turning red?

Was she _blushing_?

“Ick,” said Boey. “You’re not attracted to your own body, are you?”

“NO! No. No… Ew! I’m just… I didn’t think I was this pretty. That’s all, I swear! It’s nothing weird like that.” She paused. “Seriously, is that what I look like? Cause, _damn_. If I weren’t in you right now, I’d be swooning.”

Boey sighed. “Truly, your vanity knows no bounds.”

“Hey!” Mae raised her hands above her head, as if what she was doing hadn’t been unquestionably strange. “I’m just telling it like it is. You’re free to examine your own body as much as you wish. Don’t let its current resident stop you.”

“Are you asking me to check myself out?”

“Whaaaat? No! Totally! I’m not. Really. But I am saying if you _want_ to _,_ you can. It’s only fair, right? I looked at me, you can look at you! It’s not really weird at all.”

Boey crossed his arms. His forearms bumped the metal chest plate, so he lowered them. That felt awkward, so he decided to just rest his arms at his side.

“Having fun there, hotshot?” Mae asked, stifling a giggle. “And you made fun of me for complaining about that.”

“Not really, no,” said Boey. “And, yes, that would be,” he made air quotes, “‘really weird.’”

“Why’d you just try and imitate my voice while speaking in my voice?” Mae put her hands on her hips and looked down at him. “Sheesh, you’re one to speak about being weird.”

Boey found his body surprisingly intimidating when Mae posed it like that. That angry scowl, those raised eyebrows, the hands on his hips… Boey was almost frightened of himself.

Yes, he could certainly get used to looking at himself like this.

“What’s your problem?” Mae asked, quirking her head. “You got all starry-eyed. You okay?”

“Yes,” said Boey. “I’m simply dandy.”

“And you called _me_ the weird one,” Mae muttered.

“You already said that. Are you going to try the flour or not?”

“Oh, right. That. Almost forgot, heh.”

Boey sighed. “Of course you did…”

Mae grabbed the spoon and grabbed for the bag of flour. She stared at the full spoon.

“Well?” he asked. “Are you going to eat it or not?”

She nodded. Closing her eyes, Mae gently moved the spoon to her mouth. After a moment, she opened them again, and her face broke out into a grin.

While in his body, the flour tasted the exact same as it had prior. Yet, somehow, instead of tasting revolting, it tasted superb!

“This is pretty good, Boey!” she said, grinning.

“See?” Boey asked, his face smug. “Told you I wasn’t lying.” His grin lessened, and he added, “Please close my mouth.”

“Yah,” said Mae, shoveling another spoonful of flour into her mouth and chewing it while keeping her mouth open. “This is good slop! I’d eat this any day over that crap we eat on the ship. No wonder you devour this stuff!”

Suddenly, Boey found himself jolt upwards – likely a result of the ship hitting a wave. He crashed down, and he felt his chest bounce from inside his breastplate. It was surely an odd sensation, and not a pleasant one. He frowned and patted the breastplate.

“Mae, why exactly do you wear this thing?” he asked. “It’s not exactly comfortable, and I can’t imagine it does much against…” He looked at Mae, noticing her eyes were wide. Her hands were shaking, and her expression was one of horror.

“Mae?” Boey asked. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Boey…” she whispered. She gripped his shoulders, staring at him – no, her look was pleading. “I felt it. I felt it move! I want to switch back. I want to switch back, Boey!”

“What?” he asked, grabbing her hands and attempting to release his shoulders. “Mae, calm yourself. It’s no big deal, and it’s likely over anyway.”

“No, you misunderstand.” She shook her head. “It… It _moved up_ , Boey. It moved up! I was just… It was thinking about stuff, OK? And then it moved!”

“What kind of stuff?” Boey asked hesitantly.

“…stuff.”

“Mae.”

She looked away, but Boey noticed her cheeks tinging pink, and he had an inclination. “Did it have to do with the arm thing from earlier?” he asked.

“N-no,” Mae said, and her cheeks got redder. “Why would you think that?”

Boey let out a loud groan, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Good heavens… Don’t tell me your thoughts got perverse!”

“I’m sorry,” said Mae. “I just… I couldn’t help it! I wasn’t going to _do_ anything! I just… The thoughts happened to slip by, and… and suddenly it’s moving on its own, like a magic snake!”

“Please,” Boey said, “never use the phrase ‘magic snake’ to refer to my penis ever again.”

She crossed her arms. “Magic snake.”

“ _Mae._ ”

The ship jostled once more, and Boey and Mae jolted again.

Mae glared down at her crotch, horrified, yet intrigued.

“Please stop staring. It’s really no big deal.”

“How do you live like this?” she asked. “How do you live with the jostling, Boey?”

“I suppose,” Boey scratched his head, “I just do? As I said, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“All right,” Mae said, “that’s it. I’m changing us back. I tasted the flour, it was good, we’re done here. I don’t care if you got to experience magic in my body or what. Enough is enough!” She hummed, closed her eyes, and she snapped her fingers.

“Well?” Boey asked. “I’m waiting.”

“H-hang on,” said Mae. “I just need a second. Um… Wammo blammo!” She snapped her fingers once more.

Boey stared at her blankly.

“Hey!” she said. “Stop looking at me so like that! It’s weird seeing me so disappointed in myself - not a good look for me.”

“Mae!” he cried, almost at a shout. “Switch us back, damn you!”

“Ah!” Mae plugged her hands in her ears. “You’re so loud!”

“Perhaps I wouldn’t _have_ to be loud if you would just _switch us back already_!”

“I’m trying! I can’t seem to get it right! Maybe if I…”

Boey grabbed the journal and began to search through it, starting at the marked pages.

“I don’t think I _missed_ anything important…” Mae said. “Also, isn’t it totally heavy?”

“Yes, it’s much too heavy,” said Boey. His eyes widened, and his focused turned to a particularly important paragraph. He read it over again – yep, it’d said what he’d thought. He instinctively tried to make a guttural growling noise, but Mae’s higher tuned vocal chords didn’t allow it, and it came out as a pathetic whimper.

“You okay?” Mae asked. “That was one heck of a noise.”

“Mae, you dunce!” Boey cried, shutting the journal and glaring angrily at her. “They didn’t kiss by moonlight to reverse the spell! They slept with each other!”

Mae’s heart dropped. “W-what now?”

Boey flipped to the page in the journal and began reading from it. “And by the eve of moonlight, after our lips had touched and our bodies joined, we separated, now in the bodies we’d had by birth and wiser from the venture. We then joined again, and again, and then we did it on the boat. We were a joyful couple, and our celebration was appropriately gay.”

“Oh yeahhh,” Mae said sheepishly. “I think I repressed that part because it was really gross. Can you imagine what that’d be like? Sleeping with yourself? Now that you read it out loud, though, it’s all coming back to me. I… O-ops?”

“You are an imbecile,” snapped Boey.

“Will you just relax?” asked Mae, snatching the book out of his hands. “Maybe we just have to hold hands and do the spell. Here, give me your hand.”

Boey grumbled and did so, and Mae hummed and snapped her fingers. When she opened her eyes, it was to herself staring angrily at her – it hadn’t worked.

“Are you done?” Boey asked.

“I don’t have any other ideas. So, yeah, I guess I am.”

“Well,” said Boey slowly, “we need to devise a plan on how to proceed. I say our first step is to tell Lady Celica and get her advice.”

“No!” cried Mae. “If we do that, then we’ll just make her worry to death! You know how Celica is! She can’t even handle one of us being _injured_ , you think she’ll be able to handle us switching bodies? She’ll keep us off the battlefield!”

“And? I can’t very well fight in this state.” Boey snapped his fingers, expecting a small flame to pop out – and it did. What he didn’t expect, however, was said flame to be _blue_. The flame hopped around on his palm, and Boey stared at it, awed and humbled.

“I did… that?” he asked. “I barely spent any energy, and yet it’s blue! How can this be?”

“I told you,” said Mae, “my body is much more powerful than yours! If you’re not careful, you could blow a hole in this ship!” She paused, and added: “So be careful!”

“Yes, thank you,” Boey added dully, closing his hand into a fist and extinguishing the flame. “I’ll try. Regardless, the fact of the matter is that it would do ill to fight in this state. If I’m _this_ powerful in your body, imagine how much trouble you’ll have in mine?”

“Why?” asked Mae. Her smile slowly grew into a wide grin. “Is it because I won’t be very powerful like this?”

“W-well, no, just that you’ll… Your magic reserve isn’t…” He trailed off and glared at her.

“Somebody is a weak baby,” Mae cooed.

“I could run around this ship topless right now.”

Mae’s smile remained intact. “Like you could even figure out how to get my chest plate off.”

“Was that a challenge?”

“I don’t know, _was it_?”

“I’ll show you,” Boey said, reaching around to the rear of his back and fumbling for the clasps that hold her chest plate on.

“Wait, you’re really going to go through with it?”

Boey mumbled, still fumbling with the clasps. “Uh-huh,” he mumbled, trying to release the clasps.

“Then, uh… Then I’m going to walk around without pants!” Mae said, and she began working at the hem of his trousers. She shoved her hands past the cloak, lifting it up, and began to work on undoing his belt.

“Fine!” Boey said.

“Fine!” Mae echoed.

“Um… Knock knock.”

“We’re busy!” shouted both Boey and Mae. They turned to stare at the intruder in the doorway.

Celica looked at them curiously.

“Ohhh gods,” Mae whispered.

Boey had just released the chest plate clasp, and the metal plate bounced on the bed.

Celica’s eyes traveled to Boey’s chest. They then moved to Mae herself – specifically, the position of her hands, which had just unlatched his belt from the loops holding it in. The belt flopped down; Mae’s state of undress was very evident.

“I… apologize,” Celica said, her tone neutral, and her face red. “I did not mean to… interrupt.”

“Interrupt?” Mae asked. “What do you mean inter… rupt…” Mae’s words died in her throat. The gears in her head began to turn, and what it must have looked like to an outsider was made immediately obvious.

“Oh,” Boey squeaked. “No, please, mil… C-Celica. We were just… doing… t-things! N-nothing s-scandalous!”

“Y-yeah!” said Mae. “Things! We were… doing things! Ha ha! Nothing… weird… here?” She put on her most innocent-looking face with the big puppy dog eyes.

This seemed to distress Celica even more, and Mae quickly realized it was because she was trying to do the big puppy dog eyes with a face that was not suited _to_ the big puppy dog eyes. Her face quickly became one of concern.

“R-right… Er… The captain…” Celica shook her head lightly, trying to regain her bearings. “The captain would like to speak with you both.”

“Oh,” said Boey. “That’s it?”

“Yes,” said Celica quietly. “That’s it.”

“T-thanks.”

“You’re most welcome.” Celica shook her head once more – partially in disbelief, and partially to regain her bearings – and did her best to smile politely. “I’ll see the both of you there.”

“Hopefully with more clothes,” Mae added.

“…Right,” said Celica. “…That.” She walked back into the hallway.

Immediately, Boey stood up and closed the door. He turned to Mae, his expression livid.

“Don’t you look at me like that!” Mae said. “You started it!”

“’Hopefully with more clothes?’” repeated Boey. “Really? How on _earth_ did that help our situation?”

“I thought it would add a little levity! Celica likes levity!”

“Lady Celica does most certainly _not_ like levity! You know this! I know this! What’s wrong with you?”

“Ugh…” Mae splayed her hands on her face. “Well, what are we gonna do? Get dressed and see the captain?”

“Yes, well...” Boey paused. “I suppose we can’t very well feign being sick after _that_ little display. So, yes. Put your pants on and let’s get moving.”

“Wait!” Mae said.

Boey turned.

“We’re pretending to be each other, right?”

“Of course,” said Boey. “That much should have been obvious. Now, help me put this chest plate back on.”

“Actually, you probably should leave it off. We don’t need to wear our combat gear. But, uh… could you help me put these pants on?”

Boey bit his tongue.

* * *

 

“So, the two stragglers finally made it, eh?”

The ship captain wore a huge grin, and was seated at the front of the eating table. A strange green crumple adorned the plate in front of him. Saber, Genny, Celica, Leon, Valbar, and Kamui stood nearby. Everyone except Celica and Genny looked exhausted, and it was clear as daylight that they would rather be anywhere else.

“How’s your ship journey been so far?” the captain asked. “Smooth sailing down below?”

“Eh, it could be worse,” said Mae with a shrug.

“I haven’t particularly…” Boey paused. He was supposed to be _Mae_. “I didn’t really like it.” _Perfect,_ he thought. _She has a less advanced vocabulary. Sounds like something she’d say._

“Gah hah har!” The captain slammed his hand on the table; the green crumple did not move. “It takes a while for everyone to get their sea legs, lad and lass. It’ll come to you.”

“Why’d you call us down here?” asked Mae. She froze, a realization hitting her.

 _Damn,_ she thought. _I’m supposed to be Boey! He tries to sound smart and formal! Uh…_

“…If you don’t mind me asking,” she added.

 _Nailed it._ She subtly pumped her first.

“Stop it,” whispered Boey.

Mae stuck her tongue out at him.

He stuck his right back out.

Despite it being her tongue, she wanted to yank it out of his mouth.

“Oh.” The captain sunk. “Straight to the point, are you? Well, I wanted you to try some of this necrodragon jerky I made!” He pointed to the crumpled green _thing_ on the table, and Mae had to keep herself from gagging.

“Did you just ask us to eat necrodragon jerky?” Boey stared at the captain, dumbfounded.

“Yes, sir! I made it myself from that necrodragon you and the swordsman killed!”

“Necrodragon,” Boey repeated. “You want us to… eat it. You want us to eat the necrodragon Mae… uh, that I killed.”

“Aren’t necrodragons dead?” asked Mae.

“ _Un_ dead,” the captain corrected. “And yes, sonny, they are! Really, it gives them a nice, smoky flavor.”

“Do I have to be here?” interrupted Kamui. “I’d like to sleep now. Would you mind if I left?”

“No!” snapped the captain.

“Got it.” Kamui started to walk off.

“Why are you leaving? I said no!”

“Right, you said you wouldn’t mind.”

“I may have said that, but I meant ‘no’ as in ‘no, you cannot do whatever you want!'”

“Well, you should have been clearer. I’m not getting paid to stand around.

“You’re salaried,” said Valbar. “Technically, you are.”

Kamui groaned.

“Anyway…” The captain shook his head. “The rest of us ate a piece of the necrodragon, and we all watched the others do it. Now you two have to do it!”

“But… why?” asked Boey, frowning. “Why do we have to do this? This is spoiled meat. This could likely kill us.”

“Because it’s my ship, and a captain’s word is law at sea! When you kill something, you have to eat a part of it!” The captain tore the strip of dragon into two pieces and handed each of them a piece. Boey and Mae both looked at it questioningly. “Come, now. The others all did it!”

“As someone who ate it, I can tell you that it could have been worse,” offered Leon. “Just get it over with and we can go to bed.”

“Don’t be stu… absurd,” said Mae. “Do you expect me to believe that everyone here ate this? Even Genny?” She looked pointedly at Genny.

Genny nodded sadly.

“Dammit,” Mae muttered. “Even Genny, huh…?”

“Let’s just do it already,” Boey said, sighing. He grabbed the jerky and winced, swallowing it in one whole bite. It tasted rather like a sulfuric, smoky chicken jerky. Not particularly awful, but not exactly good, either.

Mae swallowed her share. As soon as she’d taken a bite, her face turned pale, her eyes lulled back, and she flailed backwards.

Boey just barely managed to catch her by the waist. “Thank gods,” he murmured, and he gently let her down on the floor. (His body was much too heavy to hold with Mae’s wimpy arms.)

“…Did he just faint?” asked the captain.

“It would appear so,” said Kamui. “Fascinating.”

“Never had that happen before.” The captain scratched his head, bemused. “Is this the one that fainted when the necrodragon rushed him?”

“No!” Boey quickly said. “He was definitely not the one. That was, er, me. Mae.”

Saber looked at him curiously.

“Well, I’m out,” said Kamui, saluting. “If you need me, I’ll be sleeping like a rock. ‘Gotta get in tip-top shape for tomorrow! There’s coin aplenty to be made.”

“Let me join you, Kamui,” said Leon.

“For the last time, Leon…” Kamui groaned. “Unless you’re paying me, I don’t want to-”

“In separate beds.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right.” Kamui shrugged and exited. Leon followed behind.

“I’m, uh… going with them.” Valbar pointed to Leon, quietly making his leave.

“C-Celica?” Genny whispered to Celica, who leaned down, cocking her head. “Is Boey going to be all right?”

“He’ll be fine, kid,” said Saber. “He just has that necrodragon fear. He probably shocked his system by eating one… or something.”

“Then why didn’t Kamui faint?” asked Celica.

“I don’t think Kamui actually ate the crap,” said Saber. “I’m good at spotting it when people fake things right under my nose – comes from a lifetime of reading people. And that man definitely didn’t eat the jerky. His wince was way too exaggerated.”

“He cheated…” Genny said.

“Would you rather he fainted, too?”

“I guess not…” She frowned. “Still, the rest of us had to do it! It’s not quite fair that he didn’t.”

“Ah, don’t worry about that, lass,” said the captain, putting a free hand on her shoulder. “I’ll make him eat it eventually, even if I have to force him. No one will leave this ship without eating my famous jerky!”

“Why are you so insis… set on this jerky?” Boey asked.

“It’s a tradition!” barked the captain. “Anyway, you two take care of the lass.” He took out another piece of necrodragon jerky – this one the size of his fist - and a knife. He grinned. “I’m going to go to town on this demon jerky.”

Boey had to keep himself from gagging at the stench; he was certain if he had been in his own body, he would have passed out from the smell alone.

Celica and Genny responded similarly. Saber didn’t react.

“Yes, sir.” Saber grabbed the unconscious Mae, setting her across his shoulder and grabbing ahold of her legs. 

 _Seeing myself unconscious and flopping around is rather odd_ , Boey thought. _Still, it’s less so than seeing my body move on its own, without me inside._

“Oh,” said the captain, “and one more thing. Nice work on the jerky deduction, Saber. My old eyes would nary have seen that.”

Saber gave a quick nod. “I’m good at spotting those types of things.” Saber’s eyes turned to Boey, and Boey could swear that Saber’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to take her back to her room.”

“Thank you.” The captain nodded. “And the rest of you kids – get some rest, okay? You’re going to need it for the next pirate encounter.”

Genny nodded and quietly walked out.

“Goodnight.” Celica bowed her head, exiting.

Boey looked at the captain, and the captain looked at him.

“Goodnight, sir,” said Boey.

“Goodnight,” said the captain. “Sleep well.”

* * *

 

Mae woke up with a start. She opened her eyes, the world around her filled with nothing but darkness. She groaned, and the noise was guttural – not what she expected, but also not cause for alarm. She rubbed her eyes and smacked her lips, yawning.

It was then that she realized she was still in her under armor.

 _Why am I wearing this?_ thought Mae. _What happened?_

Groggily, she snapped her fingers, and they alit with flame. She looked at her hands for a solid half minute - they were a much darker shade than usual. Normally pale, Mae’s hands now appeared a dark olive.

“My hands…” she murmured, turning them over and over.

With a start, she noticed her voice was much deeper than usual, and – _gasp_ – her legs! Her legs were fully covered!

Even while sleeping, she would _never_ cover her legs!

And her comfy boot fluff – it was gone! And her outfit was green, not pink! And…

Mae then recalled exactly what had happened before, and her mood instantly soured as a result.

“Boey…” she growled. “Your poor fashion sense is uncomfy as hell. How do you live, let alone fight, like _this_?”

Of course, no one responded. She _was_ Boey now.

This would not do.

A plan formed in her head - she figured she might as well speak _for_ him in conversation, long as she had his voice.

Besides, it wasn’t oft she got to do a perfect impression of a dope.

Just to be sure no one would hear her, Mae shut the door to the room.

“Oh, Mae,” she said with her best impression of Boey’s cadence, chuckling. “You are so very ridiculous. I simply wear these pants because I enjoy having a poor sense of fashion and also being a doofus. Why would I let my ugly legs be free? No, that’s simply foolish. Har har har.”

Mae was disturbed to find that she found laughing in his voice was kind of… attractive. Shaking her head, she tried to dispel the foul thought from her (Boey’s?) head.

Perhaps it would help to say some decidedly unsexy things.

“Mae is a boob,” she said. “Mae is an idiot. I hate Mae.”

She grinned – it was certainly working! She was finding herself less wanting to say things like “I love you, Mae,” or “Mae, you are my everything,” or even to moan softly in his sweet, sweet inflection.

 _Dammit!_ She cursed internally. _I was trying not to think of weird thoughts, but now that’s all I can think about! Is this… what it’s like to be a boy?_ She pondered this. _No… It’s probably just me. I don’t think Boey would think about this stuff in my body…_

Mae gasped. _Boey!_ Right, if she was in his, then he was in hers…

Boey had unhindered access to her body! She was a woman! He could… He could touch her and do weird things with it! Her body!

Him!

Boey touching her body!

It was at that thought that Mae deflated – it wasn’t like Boey thought of her like that.

Also, it was _Boey_ \- she trusted him with her life. And she knew he wasn’t a pervert, and didn’t have ill intent. He’d never do anything weird with her body, much less touch it inappropriately. Right? It wasn’t like he would even find her body attractive while _in_ hers. It would be like if Mae found his body attractive right now!

Mae looked down. With every breath, his chest forwards and back. Forwards and back, forwards and back…

It was mesmerizing, and Mae’s mind started to clog up with filthy, filthy thoughts.

 _Boey_. She didn’t know what it was about him, but something about Boey made her heart flutter and her soul pang with wanting.

And - oh gods! - she had unhindered access to his body.

 _Men take of their shirts all the time, r-right?_ Mae thought. _It’s probably fine to take off his shirt and just, uh… look a little._

_If I look and don’t touch, it’ll just be like the last time I went to the beach and I checked him out a little bit. Right? It’s not weird at all. Boey wouldn’t mind… much. And besides, didn’t he say something about us inadvertently violating each other by switching bodies? Might as well go the full way._

A smile played at Mae’s lips as a devious, yet delicious, idea made its way into her head. She couldn’t hold it in, and so she broke out into a full-on cackle.

_Boey would mind. Boey would totally mind! But he’d only do so with annoyance. It’s the absolute perfect way to bother him - it’s barely a breach of privacy, but just barely enough to drive him nuts!_

Her mind set, she unfastened his belt from the back – this time, it came undone easily, and Boey’s tunic poofed out. She folded her shoulders inwards and grabbed the top of his cloak, and she set it on the nearby bed.

Mae looked down – she was now dressed in his brown under armor.

“Brown,” she muttered to herself. “Nice regalia, Boey. Come on, at least make it an interesting color. Maybe if we stay like this until the next port, I can buy him some red undergarments or something.” She hesitated. “Gods,” she muttered. “I hope we don’t stay like this until the next port.”

Shaking her head, she grabbed his shirt from the stomach area and pulled upwards. She felt no resistance at the chest area. It was a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. Throwing the shirt on the bed, she looked down and grinned vividly.

“Ah, here we are,” Mae said softly. She ran her hand over his chest, noting how firm his stomach was. He didn’t have any ripped muscles to speak of, but it was certainly taut and very pleasant to the touch. Whenever she ran her hand across a section of his skin, she felt ripples of pleasure below, her own touch soothing.

“Mmmm,” she accidentally sputtered out. Goodness, it was rather delightful hearing Boey moan like that.

He sounded so _stimulated_ , so _needy,_ so... _Boey_. The sound was such music to her ears that she felt like she should do it again, but softer – and so she did, now moving her hands up to caress his arms.

Hearing Boey’s voice moan, the taut firmness of his stomach and his muscle-laden arms… Gods, it was all too much, and long before she knew it, Mae felt the sensation of stiffening around her crotch again. Not only that, but this time she could feel and _see_ it straining against his pants.

A lump formed in Mae’s throat, and she swallowed.

Gods, _it_ was certainly larger than she had expected. Were men really expected to stick those things inside women? Inside… her? Ow…

The very concept of sticking that _thing_ inside of her made her wince in… yet, why did that only make it throb? And, _gods_ , the throbbing felt nice. She almost wanted to…

T-touch it…

“M-maybe if I poke it,” Mae said softly, “it’ll go away.”

Mae jabbed a finger at the head of his penis, and-

“Have you tried thinking of something gross? Usually works for most men. Naked parents?”

“Wait a second…” Mae snapped, and the tip of her finger alit with a small flame. _I’d intended lightning,_ she thought, cursing internally.

“Who’s there?!” she cried. “I’m warning you!”

“Hey,” Saber said, stepping out of the shadows.

“Saber?!” Mae asked. She hurriedly grabbed her shirt and pressed it against her chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Well…” Saber frowned. “I _was_ going to check on you to confirm you didn’t have a stomachache. Clearly,  though, your stomach is in more than perfect condition.”

Mae swallowed. “Crap.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ate flour for this. Like, I legitimately ate flour for this fanfiction. I posted about my flour-eating exploits on Twitter.
> 
> It did not taste good. Boey is wrong.
> 
> Anyway, this is probably the most self-indulgent bullshit I’ve ever written, but here it is. Chapter one of a vaguely sexual Mae and Boey body swapping fanfiction. There will probably be character development or something in the next chapter. I don’t freaking know, man.


	2. The Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A witch makes her presence known.

Boey could most certainly not sleep well.

He found himself laying in the paltry excuse for a bed and staring at the roof of his room, still fully dressed and much too aware of his rising and falling chest. It wasn’t exactly _uncomfortable_ per se, but he certainly wasn’t enjoying it. Mae was not by any measure a lightly-endowed woman, and even breathing made Boey very aware of this fact.

Mae’s body was not used to the rising and falling motion of the ship – he wasn’t sure how she’d fared so well thus far, but Mae’s bust wasn’t the only thing that felt like it was heaving. At least Boey knew her complaining about seasickness wasn’t _entirely_ gibberish.

 _Perhaps,_ thought Boey, _I would be able to sleep better if I was more snug and in more blankets and whatnot. Then I wouldn’t be as acutely aware of her…_ _bosom._

“I don’t like this,” Boey said, and it rang out in Mae’s sweet cadence.

Suddenly, his earlier idea wormed its way back into his head. Boey tried to urge it outwards. The idea was having none of this, however and it planted roots, worming itself in deep. Before he knew it, Boey’s mind was set - he _had_ to do it. When was he going to get another chance to hear Mae say the things he wished so deeply to hear?

“I love you, Boey,” he said quietly, the sentence coming out in Mae’s voice. “I love you, you buffoon. Kiss me.”

Boey frowned. Hearing that was nothing like he’d expected. Mae’s voice had said it exactly the way she had in his imagination, yet… nothing. His heart didn’t do a flip, nor did he feel funny after he’d heard her voice say it. Perhaps he had to try something more extreme.

“Marry me, Boey!” he cried.

Nope. Nothing.

Maybe he was trying too hard.

“You’re pretty smoking hot,” he said, and – gasp – he felt butterflies begin to form in his stomach, and his heart did a flip. “You’re smoking, Boey. Gods, Boey, you’re so handsome!”

Nope. Immediately, his stomach returned to normal.

Perhaps it was because he was being so direct. Mae would never be direct like that – no, she’d find some way to twist it into an insult or a jab. What would she _truly_ say if she liked him?

Perhaps he had to do a better Mae impression.

“ _Like you?_ ” he asked. “I would never _like_ you! I wouldn’t like your muscles, or your big brown eyes, or that dopey little fist-pump you do whenever you kill a terror. I would never like your kindness, or your passion, or your willingness to go along with whatever crazy scheme I’ve concocted. I would never like how great a friend you are, and how I’ve often desired for it to be… something more. I don’t just like you, Boey. I… m-more than that.”

There it was – his heart did a huge flip, and he couldn’t help the instinctive grin on his face immediately afterwards. He was about to reply - to tell her that he loved her, too.

Then Boey fell back to reality, and his heart sank.

He couldn’t tell her he loved her. This wasn’t real. He’d been so into this little fantasy that he’d been snapped out of reality for a moment.

“Do you, or don’t you?” Boey asked himself quietly. He wistfully clasped his hands together in a poor mockery of holding her hand – gods, how he wished he could do that for real. “I know I do,” he whispered.

Boey hung his head and sat down on the bed. His eyes welled with tears, and Boey cried for the joy in those fleeting seconds in which he’d heard Mae declare her love… and for the heartbreak thereafter.

Gods, he was a mess.

* * *

 

“I, uh…” Saber stared at Mae. “I didn’t mean to… interrupt you with whatever you’re doing there. I only wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Oh,” said Mae. “Is this about earlier?”

“Yeah. Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, thanks. I didn’t expect you to care.”

“I can’t say I do. If I didn’t check on you, though, the lass would get mad, and we can’t have that, now, can we?”

Mae almost cracked a smile. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you cared about what she thought of you.”

“Just don’t tell anyone,” Saber grumbled. He slammed the door.

“Why don’t the doors here have locks?” grumbled Mae.

Mae sighed and looked down at her chest – the mood was most certainly spoiled, and only now did she realize how utterly _weird_ what she’d just been doing was.

Shuddering, she imagined if Boey had done the same to her – she’d be furious. It was a violation of privacy, and certainly not a minor one. Just because she’d seen him shirtless didn’t mean she had the right to _touch_ him shirtless – lest, not without his consent. And why would he consent to that, especially if he know that she’d touched him without her permission?

“Oh gods…” Mae hugged his shirt, horrified by her own actions. “What have I done?”

* * *

 

A knock rang out from the door.

“Huh?” Boey lifted his head. He dried his wet face onto his arm. Doing his best impersonation of Mae, he asked: “what do ‘ya want?”

“It’s me,” said Boey’s voice from outside. “Ma…  Uh, Bo… Well, you know who I am.”

 _This is bad,_ thought Boey. She couldn’t see him in this state – she’d ask him what he was crying about. Then he’d have to think of a valid answer, and that would either lead him to sounding like a fool, or (even worse!) Mae getting him to confess, and _that_ would be a path he could never recover from. Boey needed to think of something, and something fast.

Something likely. Something valid. Something-

“Hello?” Mae asked. She turned the door handle gently.

“These doors don’t have locks?” Boey asked, surprised.

“Nope,” said Mae. “Learned that the hard way.”

“Hard way? What does that mean?”

“Uh… No reason at all, really. Why were you crying?”

“Likewise – no reason at all.”

“Oh. Um…” Mae scratched her head. “Um, if you tell me yours, and I promise to tell you mine-”

“Not a chance.” Boey shook his head. “You and I both know we’re both going to make something up.”

Mae sighed heavily and sat next to him on the bed. It bounded upwards for a moment, then bounded down. She placed her head into her hands. “Yeah…”

“So,” said Boey.

“So,” Mae replied.

“…Had to use the men’s chamber pot yet?”

“Nope.”

“Looking forward to it?”

“Not a chance,” said Mae. “You used the ladies’ pot yet?”

“Yep. Wasn’t so bad.”

Mae shivered. “I can’t believe you saw down there.”

“I didn’t look,” said Boey. “And even if I had, you know I wouldn’t have made a big deal of it. I respect your privacy and will do my best to maintain it.”

“Y-yeah…” Mae swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “Respecting privacy is great. Thanks for doing that.”

“…Why the sudden shift in attitude?”

“I, uh… Can I just say that I don’t want to talk about it?”

“If it deals with my privacy,” Boey frowned, “I’d very much like you to talk about it.”

“Well, I don’t want to, and it doesn’t.”

“Your voice is cracking.”

“I’m not used to using your voice! And it’s not related to the privacy thing.”

“Why are you being so defensive?”

“Because you’re accusing me!”

“I am only accusing you because you initiated this conversation yourself!”

“Did not!” Boey glared at her.

“Did too!” Mae scowled back.

“Hmph.” Boey continued glaring for a solid few seconds – then a plan formed in his head, and a smile played on his lips. He stood up, putting his hands on his hips and grinning. “I’m Mae,” he said proudly, “and I’m also an idiot who doesn’t know when to shut up.”

She stared at him, disbelieving. “Just what are you doing?”

“I’m pretty, certainly. But have you _seen_ my hair?” Boey grabbed a twin tail and looked at it forlornly, as if it were shameful to hold. “I look like a child with this hair style! It’s absolutely craaaazy, and it’s really quite nutso that I dress like this at the ripe old age of 17!”

“A _child?!_ ” Mae cried. Mae fumed, standing herself and crossing her arms. She pouted, and the expression looked especially ridiculous on Boey’s face. “Well, two can play at that game, mister!”

“It’s ‘miss’ actually,” Boey said mockingly. “I’m Mae, don’t ‘cha know?”

“Yeah, well, I’m Boey!” Mae said, crossing her arms and smirking. “I put on a brave face, but I’m secretly a _huge_ crybaby, but I won’t admit that. I think admitting fault makes me weaker, not stronger, because I’m a complete boob!”

“As Mae,” Boey said, putting a hand just above his heart (distinctly avoiding her breast), “my problem is that I never know what my feelings are! Some may think I’m hiding myself, but it turns out that I’m too much of a simpleton to even figure them out! I simply lollygag around my day-to-day life, hoping that someone figures them out for me!”

“Well, as Boey, I don’t have time to worry about feelings when what’s important is here and now!”

“As Mae, I say that sometimes you need to worry about the future!”

“And that time isn’t now! Focus on the present, _Mae_!”

“Not a chance, _Boey_!”

Their argument was interrupted by a loud banging on the door.

“Are you dressed?”

“Um…” Mae frowned. “Yes?”

“Good.” The door opened, an annoyed Kamui and Leon standing in its place. Leon had a sleep mask atop his head. “Now shut up and let me get my beauty rest!”

“But-”

“Nuh-uh,” said Leon. “You two children are going to make your way to your own rooms and are going to sleep, no ‘buts’ about it.”

“You’re not Nomah,” said Boey.

Leon put his hand on his face and sighed exasperatedly. “Can you please just go to sleep, or at the least be quiet?  I don’t wish to do this for any longer than you want me to.”

“Fine,” said Mae, grumbling and lifting herself off the bed. She looked to Boey. “Just, uh… Don’t do anything crazy. No sleeping naked.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” said Boey, rolling his eyes.

“Uh…” Leon looked between the two of them. He raised an eyebrow. “Well, I suppose I should be going. Thank you both for your compliance.”

“Happy to help,” offered Mae.

“I am _not_ looking forward to trying to sleep again,” grumbled Boey.

* * *

 

Sleeping as Boey was, as expected, rather uncomfortable. However, it was strangely pleasant in its own way. Thanks to Boey’s much smaller breasts, Mae could sleep on her chest with her head facing the side. It was something she never realized she’d missed, and she was grateful for the sudden and unexpected superpower.

However, the uncomfortableness of sleeping as an entirely different person still irked her throughout the night, and she found herself wishing she was back in her body.

When she awoke, it was to annoyance - someone was screeching in her ear. Mae groaned and covered her ears, but two hands grabbed her arms and yanked them out.

“Wake up!” the voice screeched in its high-pitched squeal. “Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

“I’m up…” said Mae, moaning. She turned over in her bed to face the voice’s owner.

Her own body stood there, annoyed, with its hands on its hips. It frowned in a manner most unlike her, with its lip curled up and its brow teeming with fury.

For a moment, her own disembodied body gave Mae a start. Then she realized it was only her favorite Boob, and Mae relaxed.

“Sleep well?” said Boob asked, a hint of anger to his voice.

“Not as well as I could have. But, yeah, good enough. You?”

“I couldn’t sleep on my front! These damn things kept getting in the way!” Boey pointed to his chest.

Mae couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips. “Yeah, they’ll do that. Sorry. Hee hee.”

“Don’t laugh at my misery!” Boey snapped.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… hee hee… It’s just so funny! Boey, of all people, is complaining about my boobs! _Boey!_ Hee hee… Hah hah… Bwah hah hah!” Mae lost any semblance of dignity, and she was giggling, snorting, and overall acting like a madwoman.

Boey, to his credit, managed to maintain himself, keeping his hands on his hips and tapping the side of his waist. After Mae’s cries died down, he asked: “are you done?”

“Yeah,” said Mae, wiping a tear from her eye. “Yeah, that was great. So, why’d you wake me up so late?”

“I figured you’d have trouble sleeping and wanted you to get your beauty rest. It is my beauty you’re taking care of, after all.”

“Not like there’s much beauty to take care of,” said Mae. She yawned, raising her hands above her head and smacking her lips.

“I feel like you’re not taking this as seriously,” Boey yawned in response,” as you should be.”

“Why should I be?”

“The pirates?”

Mae stiffened. “Uh… pirates?”

“I didn’t… Oh. Did I not tell you about the pirates? My bad.”

“Uh, no. No, you did not. What pirates?”

“We, uh… ran into some pirates and routed them thoroughly. It’s all over with now.”

Mae relaxed.

Boey grinned sheepishly. “Though…”

“Though what?”

“You and I, er, have cleanup duty.”

“And what exactly does that mean?”

“We, uh…”

“Dammit, spit it out, Boey!”

“…We have to loot the bodies.”

“Uh… what?”

“We have to loot the bodies.”

“I’m not…” Mae blinked. “We need to _loot the bodies?_ ”

“Yes. We need to find dead pirates, examine their corpses, and extract their valuables. That make sense?”

“I guess. It’s just kind of weird to hear.”

“Good to hear. Saber said that we’re to use the valuables we find to fund more equipment. Swords, lances, bows – that type of thing.”

“Saber? Why does he get to tell you what to do?”

“Well, because he’s completely right. We’re strapped for funds as is, based on what I’ve seen. This journey took a fair amount of coin and we can scarcely afford a return trip. We need money for new inventory.”

Mae crossed her arms. “How do you know what our funds are?”

“I just do.”

“What do you mean, you ‘just do?’”

“I just do.”

“…You sneaked a peak at Celica’s roster, didn’t you?”

Boey’s face reddened. “N-no.”

A sly grin crept up on Mae’s face. “Liar! You totally looked at the roster! You wanted to find out what Celica had on file for you.”

“Okay, maybe I did!” said Boey. “It wasn’t out of any place of malice! Only… embarrassment. I wasn’t sure what she thought of me, and I needed to know.”

“Oh?” Mae scooted forward on the bed. She faced down and plopped her head in her hands, swinging her legs back and forth like a schoolgirl.

Acting like that in his body, Mae looked ridiculous. If anyone else had been there, it would have ruined his image. This annoyed Boey greatly.

“What did it say?” she cooed.

“Something about me being a decent mage, but to keep me off the front lines.”

“Interesting…” Mae tapped a finger on her chin. “And what of me?”

Boy suddenly found the floor very interesting. “…I don’t wish to say.”

Mae paused. “…Hold up, I just thought of something. You _did_ get Celica’s permission before going through with this looting thing, right? You’re not going vigilante on me or anything?”

“Yeah. She said something to the effect of ‘do what you must, but I want no part of it,’ and then walked away.” Boey shifted his feet. “However, her message was clear as day… and I can’t say I entirely disagree with it. It feels wrong to loot them, but is it any more moral to be really broke and in the middle of a fight?”

“Hm…” Mae paused. “I guess not, no. We need money. And it’s not like the pirates’ ghosts will complain.”

Boey stiffened.

“I was _joking_ , Boey. There aren’t any ghosts.” She paused dramatically, and added, “I think.”

“R-right…” He shivered involuntarily; Mae withheld a snicker.

“What did the roster say about me? I haven’t forgotten. Nice try getting me distracted, though.”

“…I’m going to go outside,” Boey said. “Get dressed and meet me in five minutes.”

“What?” Mae asked. “What did it say?”

Boey looked at her, frowned, and then left the room.

Mae looked down at her hands, hesitant. If his entry had said that he was a decent mage, and it also said to keep him off the front lines… Based on his reaction, he entry likely said to put her _on_ the front lines and that she was the better mage.

Mae _should_ have been ecstatic (Celica thought she was markedly better than him! She could rub it in his dumb face!), but instead, she just felt… empty. While in his body, she _was_ the worse mage, and she could _feel_ that she only had access to only his limited magic reservoir.

…Perhaps this was what Boey felt like all the time.

“Wait…” Mae suddenly realized she’d been sitting idle. “Five minutes?!” She scrambled upwards and began rapidly digging through Boey’s cloak for the attached belt. “I barely even know how to put this thing on! Help me, Boey!”

“Figure it out!” Boey yelled. “If I can do it, so can you!”

* * *

 

Mae lifted the soldier’s body by the torso and looked at his back, examining it for anything markedly strange. When she didn’t see anything, she dropped the corpse on the ground with an “oompf”. A cascade of dust landed on her, and she coughed loudly.

“This guy…” Mae coughed. “…doesn’t have anything on him.”

“Sheesh,” said Boey. “Do you think you could make yourself any dustier? Those are my clothes you’re going to have to clean.”

“Don’t you…” _Cough._ “…Don’t you have more than one set?”

“Of course I do. I’m _responsible_.” Boey gestured to his torso and put his hands on his hips. “Don’t _you_ have more than one pair of clothes?”

“Uh…” Mae grinned sheepishly. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

Boey shook his head. “You don’t...? Well, what am I to do if I get your clothes dirty from battling enemies?”

“Uh…” Mae’s cheeks flushed. “In that case, wouldn’t you have to change my clothes?”

“Oh.” Boey frowned, and his cheeks turned bright red. “Yes, I suppose I would. I’d try to not look, of course, but… er…” He scratched his head. “Shouldn’t we be focusing on the corpses?” He kicked a nearby pirate corpse and its head turned to the side.

Boey yelped.

“Hey, watch it,” said Mae, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t want you to make me look like a crybaby. The others could be watching, you know.”

“I could have sworn it moved,” Boey muttered. He looked to the ship and frowned. “And there’s no one around! The two of us are isolated here.” He paused. “…Surrounded by corpses. That we killed.”

“You killed.” Mae searched a pirate’s body – the bags on his belt strap came easily undone, and she checked the contents – surely enough, there were small gold coins in each. “Why didn’t you wake me for the battle, again?”

“I wasn’t certain you’d be able to fight like this.” Boey unwrapped a pirate’s headband, checking the top of the corpse’s head for anything inside. “I didn’t want to risk you, and you wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.”

Mae grabbed the tunic off a nearby pirate corpse and lifted, grasping around his waist. Finding a satchel, she yanked it, examining the contents inside – a gold coin. She stashed it away. “That’s true, I wouldn’t have. Still, that wasn’t nice.”

“I don’t want to be nice. I want you to keep my body nice and pristine before you give it back. For an extreme example, what if you’d died? Then I’d be stuck as you forever.”

“This is disgusting,” said Mae. She winced as she patted the corpse’s other side. Grasping another satchel, she undid the knot to find a handful silver coins and stashed them away. “Why do these pirates keep so much money on them? Why not just pile the money together and separate it on payday?”

“Likely so the _other_ pirates don’t steal it,” said Boey, shrugging. “Pirates are greedy, even amongst themselves.”

“Hey, that’s a good ‘me’ gesture!” said Mae. “The shrug. Do it again.”

Boey glared at her. “No.”

* * *

 

Nuibaba intently stared into her crystal ball. She murmured, letting the incantation do its magic. “Seaweed and bubbles, girl who I shall smother… Crystal ball, find me a female mage like no other!”

The essence inside the ball shifted and twirled, and it bloomed into a visualization of a boy and girl. They were arguing about something or other and angrily pointing.

“Oh?” Nuibaba leaned in. Slowly, her expression formed a visceral grin. “Is that who I think it is? Let’s listen in and find out.” She waved her hand over the ball, and suddenly she could hear the conversation as if she were among the boy and girl herself.

_“We need to tell milady!” the girl said. “I can’t cover for you if you’re awake. Do you want to fight how you are now?”_

_“Of course not!” snapped the boy. “But I don’t want to be useless! Celica can probably find a place for me!”_

_“Yes, if we tell her we swapped, she probably can!”_

_“No, she won’t!”_

_“Yes, she will!”_

“Excellent,” said Nuibaba. She took on a wide grin. “Just as I suspected – these two are the pawns of the girl with the brand. If I can find the girl and sacrifice her to Medusa, then I shall be set for life! I can also sacrifice the pretty pink one as a bonus. Now, the only question is how to get them to play along and come to me…”

_“These dumb corpses are so heavy,” whined the boy, lifting a pirate corpse and rolling it on its back. He searched its rear pocket for goods. “Why are these corpses so heavy?”_

_“They’re muscular dead people,” said the girl. “What did you expect?” He set the pirate corpse she was lifting down. “And be glad you’re in my body - I’m stronger than you physically. How do you think I feel right now?”_

_“I don’t know…” The boy flexed his arm and gave it a squeeze. “It feels rather flabby.”_

_“I hate you sometimes.”_

_“I know. It’s great!”_

“Body?” Nuibaba frowned. She waved her hand and the crystal ball zoomed in on Boey. “Oh, yes…” Nuibaba’s lips curled into a thin smile. “Yes… I can see it in his - no… _her_ … essence. Her body does not match with her soul.”

She cackled. “I suppose this should make things easy, then. And those corpses surrounding them do have a perfect use…”

* * *

 

“I’m going to drop these off at the ship, then we can get a new bag and refill it.” Boey hefted the bag filled with the pirate loot and slung it over his shoulder. “Wow, you have strong shoulders.”

“Did I just hear a compliment out of your mouth?” asked Mae.

Boey looked at her, then at the ship. “No,” he said, and he walked towards it.

“Dammit,” muttered Mae. “I thought I could have goaded him into saying _why_ I had strong shoulders. He always gets so uncomfortable when I talk about that. Alas…”

Mae turned to one of the pirates. “So,” she said. “Nice weather we’re having today, huh?

The pirate, of course, didn’t respond.

“I thought so too. But Boey just walks away and leaves me here! Imagine if someone attacked me right now! I’d be defenseless!”

“…” The pirate corpse lay there.

Mae gasped. “Excuse _you_! It is not because I’m a woman! In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s because I’m stuck in stupid Boey’s body!”

She kicked the pirate in the shin. The corpse wasn’t the one that got hurt. “Ow!” she moaned. “Hey, stop having such a hard corpse! Your leg was supposed to come flying off when I kicked you!”

“Well, what if I didn’t want it to, lad? What if I wanted to keep my leg?”

“Too bad!” said Mae. “You’re dead, and…” She paused, realization dawning. “W-wait. Did you just talk?”

The pirate slowly raised its chest to a sitting position; its eyes were vivid red, but very much alive. “That I did, lad. And I don’t take kindly to you raiding my corpse. ‘ell, none of us did.”

“Y-your corpse?” A lump formed in Mae’s throat. “Hah… You’re just kidding, right? You were playing dead?”

“The only one playing here is you.” Another pirate’s corpse lifted itself; this one also had red eyes. Its movements were stiff and jerky – it’d been dead far longer.

“H-how are you moving?” Mae asked. “You shouldn’t be m-moving! You can’t be moving!”

“Magic makes anything possible,” hissed the pirate captain. He was beadier than the rest, and his long, grey beard was filled with debris from lying face down on the ground for hours on end while his corpse rotted. “Nuibaba knows this, as should ye.”

“C-can magic make you die again?”

“Hah!” The pirate captain grinned. “I like this one, a real jokester. Nothing like the girl.”

“Yeah,” added another pirate. This one had a burnt face and walked with a slight limp. Presumably, he’d been burned to death. “The lass that killed us? She was shaking while firin’ that there fire spell. Bwah hah hah! What a baby!”

“The one with the pink hair, ye?” the first asked.

“Yah, the goofy-looking one.”

Mae huffed. “I am not goofy-looking.”

“You ain’t yet, cur,” corrected Burnt-Face. “You’ll be soon enough after I slice ye to death! Then ye can join our legion and help us kidnap the girl!”

“You idiot!” The pirate captain smacked Burnt-Face in the back of his head. “You weren’t supposed to spill that!”

“Why do it matter? ‘Tis not like he’s gonna live to tell anyone afterwards.” Burnt-Face faced Mae. “’Ay, you! We’re gonna kill you, and then we’re to your body as a weapon to bargain with th’ branded girl! Celice or whatever ‘er name was.”

“It’s _Celica_.” The pirate captain groaned. “And ya know that was stupid, ‘ight? What if he runs away?”

“He ain’t gonna run away.” Burnt-Face grinned. “I’ll be certain of it.”

“And how do you know? He could run away at this ‘ery moment!”

Burnt-Face turned to the captain. “Oy, can’t you let me have a moment? I was doin’ a bit ‘ere!”

“Fine, do yer bit.”

“Well, I can’t do it now! Ya ruined the moment!”

The captain rolled his eyes and turned back to Mae. “Anyway, the fact of ‘er matter is ‘yer gonna die. Ready, chump?”

Mae looked back to the ship - it was quite far away. If she ran, she’d only be able to make it halfway before the pirates caught up to her. She looked back to the pirates.

There was a dozen of them, each looking meatier and angrier than the last. The pirate at the very back, presumably the very first to die, had an eye drooping out of its socket. He grabbed the eye and tore it out.

“Bloody thing,” he muttered.

“I…” Mae took a step backwards. This was absolutely terrifying.

The pirates moved two step forwards.

“I-I’m going to die, aren’t I? I’m going to die like this.”

“Har har har!” Burnt-Face grinned. “You bet yer arse you are, lad! Any last words before I eat your flesh for supper?”

“You mean ‘sacrifice ‘im to Nuibaba,’” said the captain, staring at Burnt-Face pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

“Not ‘sure’. I want a ‘yes cap’n.’”

“…But I wanna’ eat ‘im!”

“Join the club! We’re all hungry! But only the boss lady gets to eat him!”

“Pah, I say turds to that! For all I care, ‘eh boss lady could die and I wouldn’t give a -”

Burnt-Face suddenly keeled over.

“…Richard?” the pirate captain asked. He kicked the body of Burnt-Face.

No response.

“The next person to try and eat the girl will share the same fate.” A face shimmered in front of Mae. A white mist appeared, and inside it, a rather voluptuous woman was visible.

The woman grinned. “Hello there.”

“What?” Mae asked. “Who are you? How are you here?”

“Magic, of course. Really, how else would I do it?”

“Uh… Are you the one commanding these terrors?”

“Zombies,” corrected the pirate captain. “We ain’t terrors.”

“Shut up,” said the woman. She waved her hand, and the pirate captain was magically smacked backwards.

“Y-yes ‘m,” he grumbled, picking himself off the floor.

Mae gasped. “Did you just smack him remotely?”

“Indeed. Do you wish to be next, girl?”

“I think I’m good, actually…” Mae paused. “Wait. Girl? How’d you know I was a girl?”

“Your aura made it blindingly obvious, you dumb thing. Oh, but where _are_ my manners? I must introduce myself - I am Nuibaba, and I will be stealing your soul today.”

“Um…” Mae balked. “What?”

* * *

 

“Lady Celica says to be respectful,” Boey muttered as he walked to the spot where he’d left Mae. “I can’t say I see how one can respectfully loot a corpse, but if milady wills it, well…” Boey looked in front of himself, and he dropped the empty bag in shock.

“P-Pirates,” he whimpered. “Z-zombie pirates!”

“Ayy, this lad gets it!” said the captain. “Zombies!” He had Mae in his grip, his hand wrapped around her mouth and waist. She squirmed when she saw Boey.

“Mae!” Boey cried. “W-what happened?”

“M-mmph!” said Mae. “Mmph mmph mmph mmph! Mmmph mmph mmph mmph mmph!” She paused. “Mmph mmph mmph.”

“What?” asked Boey. “But that’s impossible!”

Mae shrugged as much as the pirate holding her would allow. “Mmph, mmph. Mmmph mmph.”

“A magic projection of a hag?”

“I am _not_ a hag,” said Nuibaba. A projection of her blinked into existence in front of Boey. “And if you’re wondering - yes, I am real, but this is merely a facsimile. And if I look like a hag to you, well, I must need this girl’s soul more than I thought. Souls keep me beautiful, you know.”

One of the pirates shook his metal hook hand, taunting Boey.

It worked. Boey shrieked.

“Mmmph,” muttered Mae. She shot him a death glare.

“H-hey,” said Boey. “I’d like to see you deal with zombie pirates!”

“Mmph mmph, mmph _mmph_!”

“Well, you didn’t do a good job of it!”

“Mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph _mmph mmph mmph mmmph, mmph?”_

“I’m sure I could fight just fine in your body,” shot back Boey.

“Mmph? Mmph mmph mmph mmph!”

“F-fine,” said Boey, and he steeled himself, glaring at the hook-handed pirate in the eye. “T-then I shall.”

“Bring ‘er on, lass,” said the hook-handed pirate. “I ‘int gonna lose to no gal.”

“That means you _will_ lose to me!” said Boey, and he let loose a volley of flames on the pirate. “Get your grammar right!”

The flames appeared too suddenly for the pirate to dodge; they hit his chest, and the pirate keeled over.

Boey waited to see if he would get right back up – after all, if the pirate had died once, then he could be revived again. However, the pirate lay still - a corpse.

“What are you waiting for?” asked Nuibaba, glaring at the pirate captain. “Kill the boy!”

“Him?” asked the captain. “But ‘at’s a lass…”

“Gods, but you pirates are thick. She’s not a proper woman! Just attack her!”

“Mmph,” Mae said, annoyed.

“Ah… ‘at would just about explain it. I knew somethin’ was wrong with ‘er. She’s showing off ‘er legs!”

“No, she just normally dresses like this,” said Boey. “I didn’t change her outfit.”

“Oh.” The pirate captain shifted. “’ell, whatever. Charge!”

“Yah!” Boey ran forward. He willed a fire to appear, and a blue flame met his wishes, his hand warm from the heat.

“Arrrgh!” The pirate ran forward, swiping his axe at Boey.

Boey deftly dodged, narrowly avoiding the strike.

“Gr…”

The pirate ran at Boey again, but this time, Boey let loose a volley of blue flames. Each shot hit the pirate captain deftly. The first flame hit his chest, and the captain tried to block it with his axe. The next hit his arm. Enraged, the captain burst forward, slamming Boey with the hilt of his axe.

Boey fell onto the ground, his eyes shut tightly. Above him, the captain held the axe and slammed it downward.

 _I’m going to die as the girl I love,_ was Boey’s last thought as the axe slammed straight into his chest.

“OW!”

Boey opened his eyes.

The pirate’s hand was rapidly shaking, his axe anchored in the ground. His pupils were dilated, and his face enraged.

“W-what?” Boey managed to squeak out. “What happened?”

“Stupid chest plate!” the pirate said. “Damn you!”

Boey looked down. Sure enough, Mae’s chest plate had a scratch right down the middle, but was otherwise unharmed. “Unbelievable,” he said. “I guess this chest plate really _does_ work, despite its appearance.” He looked to the pirate, and he smirked, a newfound boldness finding its way into his heart.

“Sayonara,” said Boey, raising his palm. A stream of lightning shot out and found its path straight inside the pirate captain’s heart.

“N-no…” was all the pirate could say before he keeled over, suddenly just as dead as he’d been mere hours earlier.

“Mmmph!” Mae cried, raising a fist in the air in joy. “Mmph!”

“Thank you,” said Boey, standing up. “I try.”

“Ya do realize ‘ere’s a lot more ‘o us, right?” asked the pirate that was holding Mae. “Ya may ‘ave killed the cap’n’, but the rest of us ain’t going down so easily.”

The reality of his words crashed down upon Boey like a ton of bricks. _They could attack me all at once, too,_ he realized.

“I’m a dead man standing,” he said quietly.

“So’re we, but ya don’t ‘ear me cryin’ bout it,” muttered one pirate.

Nuibaba grinned, looking directly at Boey. He shivered.

“I’ll cut you a deal, boy,” she said. “I’m going to take the girl to Medusa’s shrine on Expiry Island. You bring the girl with the brand, and we’ll work something. And bring cash – lots of it.”

“How stupid do you think I am?” asked Boey. He crossed his arms. “I know you don’t care about money. I’ve heard rumor of the  witch on Fear Mountain, and I know very well what you do to young maidens like… well, myself.”

“You’re not a maiden,” said Nuibaba. “I can sense souls, boy, and I know exactly who and what you are.”

“O-oh,” said Boey, and he shrunk back. “You m-mean you know that we-?”

“Yes, and it’s exactly why I chose to attack now. You are much, _much_ weaker than she is. You’re also less well-versed in combat in her body, which is why this was the perfect opportunity to steal the branded girl. The boy’s on my radar, too.”

“Boy? There’s a boy with the brand?”

“That’s none of your concern,” said Nuibaba. “Just know that you and Celica are to meet me on Expiry Island. And to make certain you don’t attack my brand-new crew and steal her back… Get him!”

A pirate thumped Boey in the back of the head.

Boey saw colors, and the world spun. “Now!” he heard Nuibaba shout. “Cast the spell before he passes out!” He felt a tingle in the back of his head, then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first I’ve ever had a fan for a fanfic. Shout-out to mia_is_best_girl for encouraging me to write!
> 
> If anyone gets what Boey is referencing when he's complaining about "respectfully looting a corpse", props to you.
> 
> That’s… about all I can think of right now. I’m gonna eat some Jalapeno poppers.


	3. The Captive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mae wakes up in a prison. Meanwhile, Boey finds Mae's body to be a prison in its own way.

“Mae!” Celica cried.

Boey’s eyes opened, and he sat up. He immediately noticed how fuzzy his memory was – he wasn’t certain how he’d gotten to where he was. The last thing he remembered was… he and Mae and he had been looting corpses for funds. However, he wasn’t certain past that. The only thing he was certain of was that he had a strong desire – no, a _need_ – to go to the Expiry Island. This need… it made Boey want to worship the goddess Medusa.

Boey figured he should tell Celica this much. She deserved to know, after all.

When Celica finally made her way over to Boey and hugged him tightly, muttering cries of “thank the gods you’re all right,” and “Mila must have protected you,” Boey thought it an apt time to let loose with the details.

“I need to go to the Expiry Island,” he said. “I desire to sacrifice myself to the glorious Medusa.”

“What?” Celica released him and she stared. “Can you say that once more?”

“I need to pay a visit to Medusa, whose shrine lives on Expiry Island,” said Boey. “Also, I would also like to sacrifice myself to her.”

“What,” said Celica, again. “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to agree with the lass,” Saber said, joining them. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Medusa is glorious,” said Boey. “She has a way about her that just…” Boey couldn’t help but let out a little sigh. Even saying the _word_ Medusa made his heart pang with a desire to sacrifice himself.

“I absolutely love her and wish to sacrifice myself to her.” He looked to Celica and smiled. “I think Lady Medusa would most certainly love it if you joined me in sacrifice, wouldn’t you say?”

“Mae…” Celica frowned. “Are you feeling well? Perhaps you are parched, or ill of some sort.”

“No, I feel fine,” said Boey. “But thank you for the concern, milady!”

Celica’s frown grew more intense. “Do you remember anything that happened? Where did all the pirate’s corpses go? They couldn’t have just left.”

“Pirate corpses?” Boey looked around and saw that she was right – there was only one corpse, a pirate with a hook for a hand. “Odd,” he said. “I could have sworn that we killed them.”

“Yeah, I know for a fact we did,” said Saber. “What the hell happened here? Spill, lass.”

_Lass?_

Boey remembered, and suddenly he understood why his body felt so funny – it wasn’t his, it was Mae’s. And he had just been _talking like Boey, not Mae_.

“No…” Boey fell to his knees. “No! No, no, no, no! This is unfair! I can’t… No!”

“What the hell is wrong with her?” asked Saber. “She’s not usually like this, is she?”

Celica shook her head. “Not at all.” Celica placed a hand on Boey’s shoulder. “Mae, what’s gotten into you?”

“Boey!” he said. “I’m not Mae – I’m Boey!”

Celica stared.

“I… I can’t sacrifice myself,” said Boey, drooping his head. “I’m Mae right now, not in my own body. It wouldn’t be right. Gods, much as I want to…”

“I’m still agreeing with the lass,” said Saber. “I say again – _what_?”

“Let’s get you back to the ship,” Celica said. “You’re clearly not in any condition to talk.” She gestured down at him, and Boey looked down – his legs were dirty, his breast plate was scratched, and there was a dull throbbing in his head.

Celica was right. He needed to rest before he spoke to them. Perhaps then his thoughts would be clearer.

“Sounds like a good idea,” said Boey shakily.

* * *

 

Boey, Saber, and Celica sat inside Boey’s room. The door was closed this time, and a bedside desk was propped up against it. Boey was seated on Mae’s bed. “And Mae said we should switch, and so we did,” he explained to Celica. “It was strange at first, and I still haven’t gotten used to it. So, yes, I am Boey. She is in my body. It’s very strange, and I’d really like to go back.

“Why wouldn’t you just swap back?” asked Saber. “I don’t believe you.”

“What reason do I have to lie?” asked Boey.

“Well, you could have murdered the girl. Perhaps you’re making this body switching business up to get away with murder. I mean, really. The infamous witch Nuibaba kidnapping your friend? Come now. _I_ could make up a better fib than _that_.”

 _“Saber!”_ Celica chided.

“What?” asked Saber. “I think he’s lying!”

Celica closed her eyes and gently placed her hands over Boey’s head. “No,” she said after a moment. “I do sense something off with her – rather, _his_ – aura. That is definitely not Mae in there.”

Boey nodded. “Thank you very much, milady. And,” he looked to Saber, “we tried to swap back. Many times. We even tried running into one another, which just ended up hurting my head.” At Celica’s glance, Boey added: “That one was Mae’s idea.”

The room was silent.

Saber coughed. “So, if this is as you say… Have you done anything weird yet, kid?”

“Weird, as in…?”

“You done anything… _weird_? You know, you’re a guy. As a girl.” Saber’s smile widened. “Inside _your_ girl.”

“Inside my… Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Boey held his hands up. “She’s not anyone’s, and especially not mine! Don’t get any ideas!”

“Oh. You’re not…?” Saber scratched his head. “I could’ve sworn… Well, regardless, the point remains. Do anything weird yet?”

“ _No!!”_ cried Boey. “I didn’t, and am _not,_ going to touch Mae!”

Saber’s smile slowly grew into a wide grin. “I never said anything about touching.”

“Oh, come off it.” Boey crossed his arms. His eyes widened when his forearms touched his chest plate, and he swallowed, staring at Saber. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“You could sate the curiosity of a lifetime, and yet you waste it.” Saber shook his head. “You’re a fool.”

Celica let out a loud cough; Saber and Boey turned their heads. “I’m still here,” Celia said.

“Oh, I know,” said Saber. He turned to Boey. “Seriously, not even a squeeze?”

Mae’s pale complexion made Boey’s growing blush more apparent with every passing moment. “I-I… N-no…”

Saber mimicked squeezing his own breasts. Boey yelped.

“J-Just what are you implying?”

Saber grinned.

“I-I… N-no!” cried Boey. Mae’s pale cheeks made his embarrassment and horror at the prospect so clear, even Celica couldn’t help but giggle. “I-I would never!”

“Relax, kid.” Saber leaned back. “I was just teasing.”

“M-milady?!” cried Boey, glancing at Celica.

Celica giggled quietly. “I-I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just not used to seeing Mae so embarrassed, is all.”

Boey turned and tried to will the redness away.

“…though your reaction _does_ make me question your answer,” Saber added. Boey let out a quiet sigh.

“Boey,” said Celica, pursing her lips, “I do believe you, and if you’ll believe me, this is certainly confusing… However, where would you find such a spell and why would you agree to it? You’re not the type to just… do things like that.”

Boey licked his lips. “She… Mae promised me something.”

Celica sighed. “Oh.”

“I’m not taking that for an answer,” said Saber. “If you’re involving us in this mess, then you need to tell us what you had to bargain with. Spill, boy.”

“I…c-can’t…”

“ _Boy_.”

“I… Hmph. Mae said the spell was to be sealed with a kiss, all right?”

“Knew it was going to be something stupid.” Saber grinned smugly.

“And so she… tasted the flour in your body,” Celica said slowly, still very bewildered. “Then what happened?”

“Well… We tried to change back. She snapped her fingers, and… I think we kissed, but…” Boey frowned. “I suppose we never actually kissed, but I’m certain it wouldn’t have worked. The book said we would need to kiss by moonlight…” Boey’s cheeks burned. “D-do more than kiss, really,” he added.

“More than kiss? What could be-…” All the color drained from Celica’s face. “Oh,” she said quietly.

“Ha…” Saber grinned. “Bit of a pervert, aren’t you? And here I was, thinking you the gentleman…”

“I didn’t know we’d have to do _that_ to reverse the spell!” said Boey. “I thought all it would take was a kiss! I didn’t get a chance to read the book.”

“Suuure.” Saber leaned back, smug as could be. “Whatever you say.”

“I don’t like being Mae,” said Boey quietly. “I wish I could reverse it, and that I could be captured in her place.”

“Aw, Boey,” said Celica. “That’s so very kind of you.”

“He just wants to sacrifice himself to Medusa,” said Saber. “Can’t sacrifice himself if he isn’t himself.”

“Also, that,” said Boey.

“…It’s not so kind anymore,” Celica mumbled.

“Look,” said Boey, sighing. “Regardless of my intent, we do have to rescue Mae. And since she’s on Expiry Island, that’s where I say we head, unless you have other ideas. Once we find her, we can save her, and then me and Mae can find a way to switch back.”

“And you’re certain you don’t remember anything about her captors?” asked Saber.

“I am. The only thing I can remember is that I want to sacrifice myself.”

“Hm…”

“Something on your mind, lass?”

“What Boey’s talking about…” Celica pursed her lips. “It sounds awfully like a curse. To give a victim an odd food craving or a desire is a spell even a novice could learn. But… to make him want to kill himself? That’s no easy feat. We may be dealing with a very powerful magic user.”

“Hm…” said Boey. “I’ve always felt this way, though. I’ve always wanted to sacrifice myself to the goddess Medusa.”

“Kid, who’s Medusa?” asked Saber.

“Well, that’s simple. She’s… Certainly, Medusa is…” Boey frowned. “Why can I not remember who she is? I know she’s a goddess, but anything else is drawing a blank.”

“My guess is that would be because you never really knew who Medusa was. You were only cursed with a desire to sacrifice yourself to her.”

“Cursed…” Boey pondered this. “I don’t feel cursed.”

“Kid…” Saber groaned. “You know what? Forget it. Kill yourself. What do I care?”

“Thank you, Saber,” said Boey.

“No!” said Celica. “We are not letting Boey kill himself!”

“Milady,” said Boey, his tone sincerely hurt. “I want this. Why would you not permit me to sacrifice myself?”

“Urgh…” Celica huffed. “We are not discussing this. Boey, you are coming with me. We are heading to this Expiry Island.”

Silence hung in the air.

“…Do, er… Do any of you actually know where Expiry Island is?”

“Expiry Island?!” the captain’s voice called. A scrambling sound could be heard as he frantically tried to open the door, but the bedside desk kept the door from opening. “Oh. There, uh… be somethin’ blocking the door…”

Boey sighed. “I’ve got it.” He hopped down from the bed and moved the desk.

“…Yes?” he asked, staring at the captain, his hand on his hip.

The ship captain coughed. “W-well, um… I heard you mention Expiry Island. ‘Tis be a spooky place. Were you planning on setting sail there?”

One by one, each of the room’s occupants nodded.

“Then I suggest you prepare wisely. Many have ventured there, but not all have returned.”

“That’s not so bad,” said Saber. “Usually it’s ‘none have returned.’”

The captain let out a sigh. “That was where I lost my wife.”

“What happened to her?” Celica asked.

“We were young and foolish is what happened. My wife was kidnapped by the evil witch Nuibaba. She appeared before us as a projection, and she taunted us. Naturally, being young and naïve, we fell for it, and me and my friends went to the island where she lay – Expiry Island, the very same island you mentioned. When we arrived, my wife was there, but she… also was not.” He swallowed. “Her body was intact, but she was… gone.”

“We ended up escaping Expiry Island, but not with all lives,” said the captain. “Many of my friends died that day. After that, I never held a sword again. That Nuibaba… She’s evil, pure and through. There be no life or kindness inside her wicked heart. Why did you have want to head to that dreadful place?”

“My friend was taken,” said Boey. “We need to save her.”

“Aye,” said the captain. “Then we’d better head out as soon as possible. The island is cloaked under a veil of darkness – it shows up on no maps. You’ll need strong magic wielders to dispel the barrier.”

Boey clicked his fingers and a flamed whooshed upwards. “That’s no problem. Lady Celica, are you in?”

“To save Mae?” Celica nodded. “Of course I am.”

“Boey?” the captain asked. “Aren’t you…? No, perhaps I got my names mixed up. Apologies.”

“No,” said Boey. “You’re right. I’m in Mae’s body, and she’s in mine. The witch used this as an opportunity to steal Mae – she couldn’t fight effectively in my body.”

The captain stared blankly. “Magic can do that?”

“Are you serious? It was from your book!” Boey reached for the bookshelf, grabbing the book off it and waved it in the captain’s face.

“That’s where that was!” cried the captain.

Before Boey could react, the captain yanked the book out of his hands.

“I managed to grab one thing before my wife completely disappeared,” said the captain, opening the book to the thick back binding. Pressing inwards on a segment, a panel popped out. The captain reached inside and pulled out a ring. It was rather plain, and not a noteworthy ring by any visible measure.”

“Don’t tell me…” Saber stared at the ring. “An angel ring?! It was in that crappy old book?”

The captain nodded. “I wrote bad smut inside the book so that no one would steal it. Who would think a ring like _this_ would be in a novel like _that_?”

“S-smut?” Boey’s face paled. “N-novel? B-but the spell worked! It can’t be… t-that!”

“Spell?”

“T-the spell!” said Boey. “The body swapping spell!”

“Oh, that? Yes, that was just something I wrote to get the ‘ol noggin thinkin’ and the nether regions tickin’.”

“Ewwww,” said Saber, Celica, and Boey in unison.

“No one wanted to know that,” added Boey.

The captain shrugged. “I’m not sure how the spell worked. I don’t even know magic.” He took the ring off and tossed it to Boey. “You need it more than I do; here. Just try and return in one piece, okay?”

“Thank you…” said Boey. He nodded. “I’ll be certain to use it wisely.”

“Magic works by one’s desire to do something,” said Celica. “If one wants something to happen, if your will is strong enough, magic will do it. Following that train of thought… I suppose you and Mae both really wanted this to happen.”

“I…” Boey flushed. “I d-did not! I just wanted to…”

“Kiss her,” finished Saber smugly. “I’m willin’ to bet that was enough. If the girl really wanted this spell to work…”

“…I see,” Boey said. “Well, that explains a lot.”

“I’ll get started on steering the boat,” said the captain, making his way for the door. He paused. “Oh, and girl… er, boy?”

“Me?” asked Boey.

“If you steal anything on my ship again…” The captain turned, a visceral grin on his face. “You’ll be thrown off the planks and fed to the fishies! Ah ha ha!” He slammed the door.

Saber couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips.

“Dammit, Mae…” muttered Boey.

“Well, let’s see if we can find anything else about this Nuibaba and Expiry Island,” said Celica, sighing. “I really hope Mae is all right…”

“Let’s see if the captain knows anything more about this island,” said Boey.

* * *

 

Mae opened her eyes.

Grey surrounded her on the left. On the right, greyer – but also, there was an opening, metal bars covering it.

It appeared she was in a metal cell and caged like an animal.

Mae looked through the opening – more cells could be seen, but there were no other captors.

“Where… am I?” she asked. “What gives?”

“Nuibaba’s lair,” said a gravelly voice. Mae couldn’t see a face or a body, but she assumed it was coming from the cell behind her based on the sound. She scrambled closer to the wall.

“Hello?” Mae asked. “Is someone there?”

“Yes,” the voice replied. It cleared its throat, then it continued in a rather feminine pitch. “I apologize. I have not spoke for many a fortnight. My name is Tatiana. Are you new?”

“New? I… guess so? The name’s Mae. How long have you been… uh, wherever we are?”

“Not long, though it feels like many years. I have been tracking my time through the crack in the wall thus far, so it has been… a week, at the least.” Mae could hear Tatiana shiver. “Prepare yourself. It will not be a pleasant time here,” she continued softly, “and then you will die.”

“Eep,” said Mae.

“Eep indeed,” agreed Tatiana. “Having ones soul eaten is not pleasant; I’ve heard the screams of those who have succumbed to that gruesome fate.”

“Oh, me? I’ll be fine.” Mae waved her hand, even though Tatiana couldn’t see it. “Boey will come rescue me. And you, too, probably!”

“I, too, someone was going to rescue me…” Tatiana exhaled, and Mae found herself jealous of the daintiness that Tatiana exuded with that sigh alone. “I do have a question, if you don’t mind. Mae, was it?”

“Hit me,” Mae grumbled. “Might as well chitchat before we get our souls eaten.”

“Why are you here?”

“Huh?”

“You sound like a boy; are you not? Nuibaba takes maidens to sacrifice only.”

“Yeah… About that…” Mae laughed. “Would you take me seriously if I told you I was a maiden myself?”

“I… don’t understand.”

And so Mae explained how she’d come to end up in Boey’s body (the part about kissing him not included). Tatiana was a good listener, occasionally asking questions during Mae’s pauses.

“Ah,” Tatiana said when Mae had finished. “I was not aware magic could do that. I suppose you wanted him very strongly.”

“Neither was I, but here we are!” Mae paused. “Uh, what? I ‘wanted’ him?”

“Do… you not know? Magical bonds are stronger between those who share a deep connection.”

“Oh, me and Boey are tight, yeah.”

“Your love has to be strong as steel for a spell like that to work, considering it doesn’t exist.”

Mae paused. “Uh, what? What do you mean, it doesn’t exist? I’m in his body! It worked! It exists!”

“Hm… I’ve studied magic for years, and yet not once have I encountered a spell like that,” Tatiana said.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that magic works based off _need_. If you need someone, if you truly love them, then your magic bonds intensify. Why do you think magic saps you of your strength? It materializes from your life force. The same principle applies to magic shared between two people. When the bond is strong enough between two lovers, then any spell – no matter how complex or impossible – becomes possible. It is how I became so strong… Because of my love for Zeke. Even now, I feel his life essence in mine – he’s miles away, and likely will not see me again, but I can feel his heartbeat. And because of that, I am at peace.”

“Um,” was Mae’s response. “I-I think… I think you’re getting the wrong idea. I don’t _like_ Boey. He’s just… a friend! A good friend.”

“He made the impossible possible,” said Tatiana. “I think he’s very well more than that.”

Both girls remained silent. Then: “So, what’s there to do around here?”

“Sit. Wait. Eat the scraps provided to us. Mourn for the other women who have died here and those that are to die.”

“…Oh.” Mae twiddled her thumbs. “Uh… So, about this Zeke. Tell me about him.”

Tatiana sighed dreamily. “I would be honored. And afterwards, can you tell me about what it’s like to be a man? I admit, after that story I _am_ rather curious.”

Mae nodded enthusiastically. “It is so _weird_.”

Tatiana giggled, and Mae joined her. If Mae was going to die, at least it would be with a new friend.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when the first chapter was 9k words? Yeah, I don’t either.
> 
> Anyway, have y’all watched Your Name? You really should watch it. It partially inspired this fic, and it’s really good. About a boy and girl who swap bodies. It’s a very cute romance/slice-of-life movie. Watch it.


	4. Mae and Boey's Bodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celica's army mounts an attack on Expiry Island.

“If I knew anything more, I would’ve told ya!” said the captain, his hands firmly gripping the ship’s wheel. “Why did you think I would’ve known anything else?”

“I just…” Boey paused. “You know, I can’t say I’m sure. I just felt like I wanted to help, I suppose. Celica and Genny are helping.”

“Well, you can help out by not being in my way! Steering the ship isn’t a fool’s job, and you distracting me certainly isn’t doing any good!”

“Fine, fine,” grumbled Boey. He stopped just before he entered the lower deck. “Thanks. And… sorry about your wife.”

“I appreciate it,” said the captain. “Truly.”

Boey nodded and walked down the ship’s stairwell.

* * *

 

“How are things going down there?” asked Boey, knocking on Celica’s door thrice.

“Just a moment!” said Celica. Boey heard her walk over to the door and unlock it.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Your door has a lock?” Boey asked, surprised.

“Of course,” said Celica. “Why?”

“I…” Boey frowned. “No reason. Did you find anything?”

“No,” said Celica sadly. “Unfortunately, I can’t find any information on Expiry Island. It’s like it doesn’t exist.”

“It does have that magic veil…”

“The only one who seems to know much of anything is Kamui. And even then, all he knew was that we needed to dispel the barrier.”

“Did you offer to pay him?”

“No, but… I suppose I could do that. But, well… we do need funds. Even with all the gold the pirates gave us, we’re still short when we factor in food and supplies.”

“Hm…” Boey thought about this. “Could I use this body to my advantage?”

_“Boey!”_

“Er, pretend I didn’t say that, milady."

“Besides… I don’t think you’re really his type. Perhaps if you were your normal self, you might have a shot.”

“I… Oh.” Boey’s eyes widened. “Wait, just what are you implying?”

“What were _you_ implying?” asked Celica.

“Um… I was just brainstorming, really.”

“As was I.”

“Right, but you clearly had an idea…”

Celica stared at Boey. “Were you not going to try something?”

“I… Hm. I guess so, yeah.” Boey closed Celica’s door and headed towards Kamui’s room. He knocked twice.

“What is it?” asked Kamui. His face lit into a vibrant smile when he saw Boey. “Oh, wonderful. You’re not here to make me do something! I thought you might have been Valbar or Leon.”

“I am, actually,” Boey said.

Kamui shrugged. “I’m not feeling energetic enough to argue with you on that. You can be whoever you wish.”

Boey scooched his way past Kamui and plopped himself on the mercenary’s bed.

“Hey!” said Kamui. “What gives? That’s my bed!”

“And it _will_ continue to be… if you follow my demands.”

“Uh… Are you trying to threaten me? I really do not have the energy for this right now. Or ever.”

“Oh, no,” said Boey, narrowing his eyes. “I’m trying something entirely different altogether.”

Kamui looked Boey up and down, then frowned. “Are you trying to seduce me? Because, really, I’m not interested.”

“Oh?” Boey grinned. “You know, the wonderful thing about being a woman is all the great little places there are to store gold.”

At this, Kamui’s eyes lit up. “Okay, suddenly, I’m listening.”

Boey reached inside his chest plate and pulled out a small sack. He shook it, and it made a jangling noise.

Kamui had to keep himself from drooling. “What did you need?” he asked. “If this is about Expiry Island, I don’t know anything else.”

“No, not that,” said Boey, shaking his head. “I need to know information on Nuibaba.”

“Oh, crazy witch. What did you need to know?”

“What’s her secret? What does she plan to do to Mae?”

“Oh, that one’s easy – she sacrifices maidens to the goddess Medusa. From what I hear, she claims it makes her look younger. How much truth there is to that, I can’t say, but I’ve heard she’s stunningly beautiful. She’s also quite…” Kamui coughed. “…pronounced.”

“She wants to sacrifice maidens? Then why would she have taken Mae in my body?”

“Who’s Mae again?”

“The owner of this body.”

Kamui looked Boey over, raising an eyebrow. “Can I have my money now?”

“Not yet. I want to make sure I have this right. Do you know what part of the maiden Nuibaba sacrifices?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is it the soul?”

“I think you just answered your own question,” said Kamui, shrugging. “Anyway, that’s all I know. If you want more, you’ll have to pay more.”

“No, I think that’s all I needed.” Boey threw the satchel to Kamui, who caught it and begun counting the contents.

“Pleasure doing business,” said Kamui cheerfully. “Now get the hell out of my bedroom.”

“Gladly,” said Boey. He hopped off the bed.

* * *

 

“Did I mention how handsome he is?” asked Tatiana to Mae. “Oh, the thought of his face just makes my heart flutter! His jaw could melt the heart of any maiden. I am blessed to be his, and he mine!”

“Wow,” said Mae. She let out a whistle. “He sounds like a huge catch.”

“That would be understating it,” said Tatiana. “He really is quite something else. Mae, tell me about Boey.”

“O-oh,” said Mae. “How about we move the conversation back to you, huh? What’s Zeke like in the muscles department? Is he buff? I bet he’s super buff, right?”

“No,” Tatiana laughed. “You’re not getting out of it that easily. I would like to hear about Boey.”

“Dammit…” muttered Mae. “But he’s not as special to me as you made him out to be, all right?”

“Of course, of course,” said Tatiana, grateful Mae could not see the wide smile on her face. “Now tell.”

“Okay, so Boey… He comes off as high-strung, and is very self-conscious, so much so that he speaks differently around those he wants to impress. He’s handsome, and his voice is smooth and… actually, it sounds exactly like mine does right now.” Mae laughed, then paused. “Damn, should’ve taken advantage of that. I could have made him say all _sorts_ of stupid stuff!”

“And this Boey… Do you love him?”

“What?!” Mae cried, flabbergasted. “No! Of course not! Ew, ew, ew! He’s all gross and… ugly!”

“You just called him handsome,” said Tatiana. “Which is he – handsome, or not?”

“Yes!” said Mae. “I mean, no! Maybe? Argh… Look, he’s… We’re done talking about this!”

Tatiana snickered. “Whatever you wish. I do want to agree, though – your, or rather _his_ – voice is rather alluring. You are a lucky woman indeed.”

Mae groaned. “Look, can we discuss something else? Anything else.”

Tatiana mumbled something softly.

“What? I couldn’t hear you.”

“You’re a boy now. What is it like, if I might ask?”

“Well…” Mae swallowed. “For starters, my skin feels harder and tougher. When I speak, I feel a deep rumble in the pit of my throat. Um… My arms feel more robust and stronger, I guess. Lifting heavier things is easier.”

She gasped. “Oh! And I feel a pang in my heart whenever I think about my body. It’s strange, I suppose…” Oh, and I feel a lot less womanly. It’s bleh. I guess my chest being lighter is nice, but I’d still rather be me again.”

“Hold for a moment,” said Tatiana. “What was that you said before?”

“My boobs are gone.”

“No, not that. The pang.”

“Oh. Well, I feel a pang in my heart whenever I think of... Oh.” Mae’s hand flew to her mouth. "Oh gods."

Tatiana smiled.

* * *

 

Boey ran up to the top level of the ship. Genny was already there, staff in hand and ready to rumble. Celica stood by, her head held high and her cape billowing majestically in the seaside winds.

“Milady!” Boey cried. “Milady!”

“Hm?” Celica turned. “Oh, M… Boey! Perfect timing. We’re about to hit the barrier.”

“I know what Nuibaba is going to do to Mae! She’s going to sacrifice her soul!”

“Yes, that does appear to be her intent.”

“Hold on. You knew this?”

“Yes. Didn’t you?”

“I… Totally. Why?”

Celica raised an eyebrow, but said nothing about this. “Do you know how to dispel the barrier?”

“Not really. But it can’t be _that_ difficult… right?”

“Only one way to find out.” She turned to face the boat’s bow.

The barrier came into view on their left. Purple and pulsing, it throbbed rhythmically, as if it were a living entity. Boey knew better, though – it was a magical construction through and through.

“It’s time,” said Celica simply. “Steel yourself, Genny.”

“Got it!” said Genny. “You can count on me!”

“What of me, milady?” asked Boey.

Celica looked at Boey pitifully. “…Good luck, Boey.”

Boey clenched his fist.

“Barrier ahoy!” called the captain, his grip on the ship’s steering wheel so firm, his knuckles turned white. “The magic users should start to feel its effects soon. You must fight the barrier!”

And suddenly Boey felt it. An electric current shot through his body, and he felt Nuibaba’s life energy  –  this barrier was tied to her, and therefore, it _was_ alive.

Nuibaba’s voice spoke through the barrier, directly into his head. She cooed and whispered soothing words, trying to lower his resolve and shatter him from the inside. Boey resisted with all he had.

 ** _Give in,_** Nuibaba cooed from inside the barrier. **_You shan’t stop me, foolish boy._**

“You’re… wrong,” he said. “I will fight you, and I will emerge victorious!”

The voice inside his head laughed, the sound a screech like a crow’s cawing. **Here is just a _taste_ of my power.**

Immeasurable pain wracked through Boey’s body. It started with his arms, soon taking hold of his chest, his torso, and his legs. He cried out, falling to his knees, and it wormed its way into his head. He felt the pain for what seemed like eternity.

But his cries did not sound like his own.

**_You are powerless to stop me. I have killed many like you in this barrier alone. Few have fought me, and none have survived. Give up, boy, and give in. This body will make a nice home for a witch!_ **

_Body…_

**_You are weak. My mere barrier alone can defeat you. If you struggle this much with a magic shield, how will you survive when it comes to the real thing?_ **

_Mae’s body…_

That was the key, wasn’t it?

Boey focused on nothing but the sound of his own screams, of the pained shrieks and cries  –  of _Mae’s_ pained shrieks and cries.

_Mae…. I need to find you._

“Nnngh…” Boey grit his teeth and stood. His eyes alit with a fierce intensity and need. He _was_ going to find Mae and save her; no mere _barrier_ was going to stop him.

“Focus…” said Celica. She was on one knee and clearly struggling to stand, the barrier getting to her as well. “I must… focus…”

“Celica!” cried Boey. “Genny! You must focus on Mae and her struggle! It will give you the strength to fight the barrier!”

“To save those who we love…” Celica grit her teeth. “We must fight!” With much struggle, she rose, determination flooding her features. “For Mae!” she cried, raising her hand in the air dramatically.

“For Mae!” chimed in Genny, raising her staff.

“Good.” Boey turned to the captain. “Now! Captain!”

“On it!” said the captain, turning the ship’s steering wheel to the right. The ship followed suit, turning right and directly into the barrier.

“Barrier ahoy!” shouted the captain, and the ship’s bow slammed into the barrier, slicing through it like a hot knife through butter. The barrier dissipated as the ship swam through it.

Expiry Island came into view. It was cold, deserted, and unnatural, with an air that made it clear no one living had inhabited it willingly for centuries. Surrounded by the clear surrounding water, it felt even more out-of-place. It was as if someone had built it out of necessity and nothing more. Considering its current resident, that was all-too-likely a possibility.

“Land ahoy!” shouted the captain. The ship followed suit, parking itself against the edge of the giant landmass.

“Everyone, prepare for battle!” said Celica.

Boey nodded. He was ready.

* * *

 

An ear-piercing scream made its way to Mae and Tatiana’s ears.

“What the hell was that?!” cried Mae once it was over. “It sounded like a scream.”

“Nuibaba…” Tatiana gasped. “I wonder if… N-no, it can’t have been…”

“What? Do you know what happened?”

“I think… that may have been the witch. I wonder if… Has someone come to rescue us?”

“Maybe Nuibaba stubbed her toe.”

“Yes, that is much more likely,” said Tatiana, sighing. “It was probably something insignificant.”

“Relax; I’m kidding! That’s probably Boey and Celica right now, kicking butt and taking names!”

“I admire your hope, Mae.”

“Hope is all we have right now. If we lose hope, then we’re as good as dead.”

“Then I suppose that we can do nothing but hope. We have nothing else left, after all.”

“Then hope, Tatiana!” said Mae. “Hope and hope and hope until the cows come home!”

* * *

 

Celica’s army stood at the island’s shore, weaponized and equipped.

The island curved upwards. Celica’s army was on the bottom of the hill – a tactical disadvantage, were to Nuibaba to press them right then and there.

Their hope was that that wouldn’t happen.

“We fight to save Mae,” said Celica. “We need to start climbing before Nuibaba spots us.”

Before she could even move, a projection of a busty, grinning witch appeared at Celica’s front. “Ah, I see you made it,” said the witch. “Good.”

“I’m guessing this was a trap?” asked Boey, crossing his arms. “Too low,” he murmured as they bounded against his breastplate, and he raised them higher.

The witch – Nuibaba – nodded. “The boy gets it. This was all a ruse to obtain the branded one. And you all fell for my trap! How delightful.”

“Boy?” asked Celica. “Tell me, witch. How did you know that was Boey?”

“His aura. And besides, I have the owner of that body trapped in my dungeon. It was the only way I could trap her – she’s all weak and pathetic in his mushy body.”

“You take that back,” Boey growled. “Right. Now.”

Nuibaba threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, how precious. He thinks I care!” She pointed to Celica. “Now, you… I have something special planned for you, girl. You are to be sacrificed to Duma himself. But the rest of you can die like the vermin you are!”

“Hi,” said Kamui, piping up. “Hello.”

“What,” said Nuibaba. “Who are you?”

“Oh, that’s not important. But I do have a question! Thing is, how are you going to kill us if you’re not real? I can poke my hand right through you!” Kamui walked up to the projection and did as such, his hand moving cleanly through the projection. “Poke.”

“Witches,” Saber murmured, pointing to the hill above. “The hag is gonna use witches to do the dirty work.”

At the top of the hill stood an army of witches, each armed with varying weapons. Their pale purple skin was molding and their smiles were macabre.

It was clear they were not there for a game of kickball.

“Mother Mila…” Celica clenched her sword, looking up. “Mother Mila, protect us!”

“Your goddess won’t save you now, girl,” said Nuibaba. “Now! Witches, attack!”

“Witches…” whispered Boey. “Undead, horrifying… T-terrifying…”

_His voice…_

_Mae’s voice…_

“…beasts that will not be my end!” he cried, raising his hand in the air. Lightning arced from his fingertips. “You shall not stop me, vile demons!”

A witch warped in front of him. Fueled by purpose and Mae’s magic reserve, he gathered all he had, releasing his summoned energy and strength in a steady stream of lightning at the witch.

The witch’s pained cries were _pathetic_.

“Do _not_ call my body mushy!” yelled Boey.

* * *

 

Nuibaba walked to Mae’s cell. She peered inside –  yes, the girl was still in there.

“Out,” Nuibaba said. “Get out.”

“What?” Mae asked, confused as to why Nuibaba was suddenly releasing her. “Why are you…?”

“Do not speak to me, girl,” said Nuibaba. She unlocked Mae’s chains from the wall, grabbing them and dragging the girl across the floor like a chained beast.

“Argh…” Mae moaned. “L-let me walk! I have two legs! Let me use them!”

“No,” said Nuibaba calmly. “You are to be dragged.”

“B-but why…?”

“Shut up before I make you.”

Mae looked up at Nuibaba and growled. “Bite me,” she said.

Nuibaba raised her leg and kicked Mae right in the nethers.

“Raurgh-argh-ow!” yelped Mae. “I won’t stand for t-this a-abuse! Ow… Ow ow ow… W-why does this h-hurt so much…? B-Boey never told m-me this hurt so m-much…”

Nuibaba rolled her eyes and continued pulling Mae. When they’d reached the outside of the dungeon, she paused and looked to her prisoner.

Mae attempted to spit on Nuibaba; the spittle barely flew a foot. “If I was in my own body, I would have made that,” she said.

Nuibaba kicked Mae in the nethers again; Mae cried out.

Celica’s army was directly below, fighting the witches. They were losing, too– the witches, with their warp ability, were no match for Celica’s underpowered crew. Even Saber and Celica herself were on the verge of exhaustion as wave after wave of witch came after them, seemingly never ending.

“Enough,” said Nuibaba, and the witches just… stopped. They stood in place, staring up at her. She was their master, and she would give the orders. If she wanted them to stop, then they would obey.

Saber sliced a witch’s torso, and the witch vanished.

Celica, Genny, and Boey’s gazes were drawn to Nuibaba at the top of the hill.

“What are you doing?” asked Saber. He kicked a witch and stabbed his sword clean through it, the witch vanishing. “They’re immobile! This is the perfect opportunity, and yet you’d waste it?”

“Look,” was all that Boey said, pointing to Mae above.

Saber did as instructed. When he saw Nuibaba, he, too, stopped fighting.

Nuibaba’s hand was swirling with darkness, and she was pointing straight at Mae.

“That boy…” Saber looked to Boey. “That’s your body, right?”

Boey nodded. “Yes. That’s Mae.”

“So, this is what it all comes down to,” said Nuibaba. “Do you kill another witch – and with it, the girl – or do you surrender?”

“Mae,” Boey said quietly. He turned to the army. “Everyone!” he cried. “Put down your weapons!”

“Are you crazy?!” asked Leon. “Why would we-”

“Just do as he says!” cried Celica. “Don’t touch another witch!”

“Whatever you say,” said Leon, and he dropped his bow.

One by one, every member of the army dropped their weapon. They then looked to Celica for guidance.

“What are your demands?” Celica asked calmly.

“Just the branded girl,” said Nuibaba. “Give her to me, and I will release Mae.”

Celica pursed her lips. “How can we trust you?”

Nuibaba laughed. “Truly, what other choice do you have? It’s either that or die.”

Celica frowned deeply – Nuibaba was right, loathe as she was to admit it.

“Aw, come on,” said Saber. “Don’t tell me you’re really thinking of doing it.”

“What other choice do we have, Saber?” asked Celica quietly. “I can find a way to escape her dungeon on my own. I must.”

“And if you can’t?”

Celica didn’t respond. She turned to Nuibaba. “I am ready,” she said. “I will surrender to you.”

“Excellent,” said Nuibaba. “And you do know that if you try and attack me while up here, I _will_ kill the girl, yes?”

Celica nodded. “Of course.” She began the trek upwards.

While she walked, the rest of the army was dead silent –  the only sounds audible was the breathing of the living and the wind.

The witches made no noise, hovering silently.

Facing Nuibaba, Celica closed her eyes and steeled herself. “Do what you must,” she said.”

“Good,” said Nuibaba, and her face took on a wide grin. “Really, girl. Did you honestly think I was _stupid_ enough to let you all go?”

Celica shook her head, and she put her fingers into her ears.

Nuibaba’s smile faded. “What in Duma’s name are you doing?”

Suddenly, a appallingly high-pitched, ear-piercing scream rang out. Nuibaba instinctively placed her hands over her ears, shielding herself from the horrific noise.

It was but a moment before she realized her mistake.

That was all the time Celica needed. She hit Nuibaba with a ball of flame and it struck true, charring the witch’s head.

Another ear-piercing scream rang out, this time from Nuibaba herself, wracked in pain. “Y-you…” she said in a low growl. “I can’t believe… you… H-how…?”

“You should have never given me access to these vocal chords,” said Boey, smirking. “They can unleash unimaginable horrors upon this world.”

“Hey!” said Mae. “Mean!”

Celica let loose a flurry of other attacks, hitting Nuibaba with Fire, Seraphim, and Thunder. Each attack had Nuibaba scream more and more, crying out as her scream became higher pitched and more frenzied.

“Fine!” said Nuibaba, her robes and body ragged and her breaths staggered. “You win, you wretched things. You can go. I don’t wish to die today.”

Celica looked at the witches below – she didn’t wish to leave Nuibaba, as the vile witch would surely kidnap more maidens. But her army was outnumbered and outmatched. They had only won because they had the element of surprise.

“Fine,” said Celica. “But you must release not only Mae, but everyone captive in your dungeons at this moment.”

“There is only one other girl in the dungeons.”

“Then she is coming with us.”

Nuibaba breathed in. “Fine,” she said. “Just… go.”

“Saber,” Celica said, “go rescue the other girl and get the key. Boey, take Mae to the ship and make sure she is well. I will watch Nuibaba and make sure she doesn’t try and dirty tricks.”

“Pah,” mumbled Nuibaba.

“Oh!” said Celica. “And you are to uncurse Boey.”

“Oh, that?” Nuibaba asked. “That should have already worn off. It was just part of the plan to get you here.” She sighed. “I suppose that did not work as planned, though.”

“No,” said Celica. “I suppose not.”

* * *

 

Boey led Mae to the ship. Both were silent, each occasionally glancing at the other, but saying nothing. Finally, when Boey made it to Mae’s room, he led her to the bed –  dirty as it was –  and she spoke.

“That was some nice screaming,” Mae said.

“Thank you,” said Boey. “It was the only time this Hell-body has been useful.”

“Oh, please. Like I liked being you! I’d rather die than spend any more time being in charge your flabby butt.”

“You were pretty close there a few minutes ago, though.”

Mae smiled shyly. “Yeah. Lucky for me, you were there to scream.”

“My screaming saved your sorry rear.”

“It was _your_ rear it saved!”

“Hey,” said Mae after a moment. “You want to know something funny?”

“What?”

“Well, when we first switched, it was weird. It’s still weird. But… even though you sound like me, and you look like me… I can’t think of you as ‘me’ anymore, you know? You just sound like Boey now. I know, it’s weird, and I don’t know why I even think that, but I just…” She didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence as Boey leaned forward, locking his lips with hers.

After the initial shock, Mae realized what was happening, so she deepened the kiss, closing her eyes and grasping his neck. His scent was intoxicating, and she felt herself melt into him.

When Mae opened her eyes, she didn’t find her own face staring back at her, as she had expected. She found Boey’s face staring back.

“That was the one thing we didn’t try,” Boey said quietly in his own voice. “We never kissed again.”

“Oh,” said Mae. “So you just kissed me to reverse the spell.”

“No,” said Boey. “I did it for a different reason entirely.”

“That’s good.” Mae smiled. “I did, too. Wanna kiss again?"

Boey couldn’t help but smile in return. "I'd love that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m satisfied with this ending. I have trouble writing descriptive scenes, especially action ones, but I tried. Only way to fix that is practice, right?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Don’t be afraid to critique or comment!

**Author's Note:**

> I ate flour for this. Like, I legitimately ate flour for this fanfiction. I posted about my flour-eating exploits on Twitter.
> 
> It did not taste good. Boey is wrong.
> 
> Anyway, this is probably the most self-indulgent bullshit I’ve ever written, but here it is. Chapter one of a vaguely sexual Mae and Boey body swapping fanfiction. There will probably be character development or something in the next chapter. I don’t freaking know, man.


End file.
